914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Baby Boomer Grandparents

June 7, 2016  | 
Baby Boomer Grandparents  by Clare Piro

{4:18 minutes to read} As Lesley Stahl was making the rounds on various talk shows, promoting her new book, Becoming Grandma, the Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting, I learned that the omnipresent Boomer generation has once again made its presence known and adopted its own version of being a grandparent.

I was then inspired to do a little research—admittedly over the internet, so I am not attesting to complete accuracy. From my experience, though, what I found seems to be on point.

  • Nearly 60% of the grandparent population are baby boomers.
  • The average age of grandparents is 48.
  • The vast majority of grandparents are active online and a majority are still employed.
    Grandparents control a good amount of the wealth in the country and are generous in supporting their adult children and grandchildren.
  • While only 13% are the primary caregivers, 72% take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis.

This is in line with both my personal experience and mediation practice. When I look at my friends and family members who are grandparents, I certainly don’t see the stereotypical image of a retired white-haired couple, who spend their time at home waiting for visits from the grandkids. I see active, vibrant people who look a lot younger than they are and enjoy being called variations of grandma and grandpa. They cherish the time with their grandchildren and play a vital role in their lives. They enrich the lives of not just their grandchildren, but their children’s and their own lives as well.

When dealing with divorce, we naturally tend to focus on the negative aspects of ex in-laws since they are more prevalent. But looking at the various permutations of family that happen after divorce, one potentially positive aspect can be found in the multitude of grandparents. It is becoming more and more common, as in my family, that children have 3 or 4 grandfathers and grandmothers who all love them and make an effort to be a part of their lives.

In mediation, I see clients turn to grandparents

  • as caregivers,
  • as a place for a newly divorced child to live,
  • to pay for college, and
  • to provide financial support.

Even if the clients don’t mention grandparents during the mediation, I do when I ask if the clients agree that, in the unlikely death of one of them, access between the children and the deceased parent’s family would be encouraged. Unless there is something very negative going on, the answer is always “Yes.” Even in contentious cases, most parents express a continuing relationship between the children and the “other” grandparents/extended family as a positive thing.

There is also the effect that a divorced child’s grandparents can have on the child’s siblings from a second marriage. It was before my time with my husband, but I understand that when his son’s mother remarried and had another son, not only did my husband take that child out while he was visiting his son, but his parents did as well, taking both children to lunch, or the zoo, or park. In fact, my mother-in-law left a bequest to her grandson’s brother, which was thoughtful and so meaningful to him.

As comfortable as the stereotypical image that some of us grew up with is, the new version of grandparents will be equally positive to today’s children of divorce.


Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (133) | Divorce (124) | Separation (41) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Litigation (11) | Communication (10) | Separation Agreement (10) | Conflict (10) | Prenup (7) | Attorney (7) | Consultation (7) | Co-Parenting (7) | Marital Home (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Parenting (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Assets (5) | Children (5) | Parenting Plan (5) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | Family (4) | Settlement (4) | Agreement (4) | CSSA (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Finances (4) | Expenses (4) | Separate Property (4) | Financial Professional (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Relationships (3) | Listening (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Emotions (3) | Negotiation (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Responsibility (3) | Marital Property (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Family Court (3) | Clients (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Blended Families (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Spousal Trust (3) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Will (2) | Anxiety (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Inheritance (2) | Mediate (2) | Estate (2) | CDFA (2) | Entitlement (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | College Expenses (2) | Budgets (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Spouse (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Spousal Support (2) | Grace (2) | Law Professionals (2) | Attitude (2) | Apology (2) | Humanity (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Compromise (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Trust Issues (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Couples (2) | Legislation (2) | Seperation (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Step-Children (2) | Step-Father (2) | Anger (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Bitterness (2) | Pandemic (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Custody (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Agreements (2) | Budget (2) | Truth (2) | Selling The Marital Home (2) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Older Adults (1) | CoParenting (1) | Caucus (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Pensions (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | Eldercare (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Expectations (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Coparenting (1) | Perspective (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Opposites (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Empowerment (1) | Retirement (1) | Advocacy (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Personality (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | COVID 19 (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Custody Determination (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Communicating (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | Transition Day (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | A Neutral (1) | An Advocate (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Intention (1) | Older Parents (1) | Depression (1) | Languish (1) | Thrive (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Feelings (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Pension Plans (1) | File A Petition (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Real Estate (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Inflation (1) | Buyout (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Meditation (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Postnup (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Consulting (1) | Fairness (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | Review Attorney (1) | Unfaithful Spouse (1) | Spousal Infidelity (1) | Financial Impropriety (1) | Mediation Friendly Attorney (1) | Regrets (1) | Daniel Pink (1) | Holding On To Regrets (1) | Biggest Regrets In Life (1) | Regrets In Life (1) | Spousal Support Payments (1) | Introducing Significant Others (1) | Real Estate And Divorce (1) | Joint Ownership Post Divorce (1) | Active Listening (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Lowest Acceptable Offer (1) | Concession (1) | Significant Others (1) | Mediation Caucus (1) | Speak Up (1) | Support (1) | Hope (1) | Beliefs (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Court (1) | Ideas (1) | Disagreements (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Kindness (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Judge (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | Pension (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | ADR (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | Income Level (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Bonuses (1) | Commissions (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Happiness (1) | Commitment (1) | Being Understood (1) | Being Heard (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Cancer (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Support Connection (1) | Collaboration (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Parent Coordinator (1) | Contentment (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Unmarried (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | College (1) | Nesting (1) | Commingling (1) | Married Couples (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Compassion (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Power (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Summer (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Payments (1) | Extremes (1) | Fall (1) | Transmutation (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Joint Account (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Specialist (1) | Relocation (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Change (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | New York State (1) | Control (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Grandparents (1) | Scarcity (1) | Abundance (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Equality (1) | Balance (1) | 2015 (1) | Blame (1) | New York (1) | Self-talk (1) | Advice (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Husband (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Apologizing (1) | But (1) | Fiancé (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Meditate (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Court Process (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Separating (1) | Guilt (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | COVID19 (1) | Social Security Assets In Divorce (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Career Change (1) | Returning To The Workforce (1) | Lawyer (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | Spouses (1) | Dishonest (1) | Married (1) | Affair (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Wife (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Seller (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Patience (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | Buyer (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.