914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Baby Boomer Grandparents

June 7, 2016  | 
Baby Boomer Grandparents  by Clare Piro

{4:18 minutes to read} As Lesley Stahl was making the rounds on various talk shows, promoting her new book, Becoming Grandma, the Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting, I learned that the omnipresent Boomer generation has once again made its presence known and adopted its own version of being a grandparent.

I was then inspired to do a little research—admittedly over the internet, so I am not attesting to complete accuracy. From my experience, though, what I found seems to be on point.

  • Nearly 60% of the grandparent population are baby boomers.
  • The average age of grandparents is 48.
  • The vast majority of grandparents are active online and a majority are still employed.
    Grandparents control a good amount of the wealth in the country and are generous in supporting their adult children and grandchildren.
  • While only 13% are the primary caregivers, 72% take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis.

This is in line with both my personal experience and mediation practice. When I look at my friends and family members who are grandparents, I certainly don’t see the stereotypical image of a retired white-haired couple, who spend their time at home waiting for visits from the grandkids. I see active, vibrant people who look a lot younger than they are and enjoy being called variations of grandma and grandpa. They cherish the time with their grandchildren and play a vital role in their lives. They enrich the lives of not just their grandchildren, but their children’s and their own lives as well.

When dealing with divorce, we naturally tend to focus on the negative aspects of ex in-laws since they are more prevalent. But looking at the various permutations of family that happen after divorce, one potentially positive aspect can be found in the multitude of grandparents. It is becoming more and more common, as in my family, that children have 3 or 4 grandfathers and grandmothers who all love them and make an effort to be a part of their lives.

In mediation, I see clients turn to grandparents

  • as caregivers,
  • as a place for a newly divorced child to live,
  • to pay for college, and
  • to provide financial support.

Even if the clients don’t mention grandparents during the mediation, I do when I ask if the clients agree that, in the unlikely death of one of them, access between the children and the deceased parent’s family would be encouraged. Unless there is something very negative going on, the answer is always “Yes.” Even in contentious cases, most parents express a continuing relationship between the children and the “other” grandparents/extended family as a positive thing.

There is also the effect that a divorced child’s grandparents can have on the child’s siblings from a second marriage. It was before my time with my husband, but I understand that when his son’s mother remarried and had another son, not only did my husband take that child out while he was visiting his son, but his parents did as well, taking both children to lunch, or the zoo, or park. In fact, my mother-in-law left a bequest to her grandson’s brother, which was thoughtful and so meaningful to him.

As comfortable as the stereotypical image that some of us grew up with is, the new version of grandparents will be equally positive to today’s children of divorce.


Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (141) | Divorce (132) | Separation (49) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Communication (11) | Litigation (11) | Separation Agreement (10) | Conflict (10) | Co-Parenting (8) | Attorney (7) | Consultation (7) | Parenting Plan (7) | Prenup (7) | Marital Home (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Parenting (6) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Finances (4) | Family (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Marital Property (4) | Expenses (4) | CSSA (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | Separate Property (4) | Settlement (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Agreement (4) | Clients (3) | Relationships (3) | Spousal Trust (3) | Parent Coordinator (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Responsibility (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Negotiation (3) | Emotions (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Family Court (3) | Blended Families (3) | Compromise (3) | Listening (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Apology (2) | College Expenses (2) | Inheritance (2) | Fairness (2) | Selling The Marital Home (2) | Estate (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Law Professionals (2) | CDFA (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Budgets (2) | Entitlement (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Pandemic (2) | Humanity (2) | Grace (2) | Spouse (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Spousal Support (2) | Attitude (2) | Anxiety (2) | Mediate (2) | Will (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Custody (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Couples (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Bitterness (2) | Legislation (2) | Budget (2) | Agreements (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Step-Children (2) | Change (2) | Seperation (2) | Truth (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Anger (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Trust Issues (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Step-Father (2) | Pensions (1) | Short-term Marriage Divorce (1) | Objective Standards In Mediation (1) | Divorce Agreements (1) | Thrive (1) | Impartiality (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Pension Plans (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | COVID 19 (1) | Retirement (1) | CoParenting (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Learning From The Past (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Coparenting (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | ADR (1) | New Year Resolutions (1) | Perspective (1) | Opposites (1) | Depression (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | Empowerment (1) | Personality (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Advocacy (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Objective Standards (1) | Compromise In Agreements (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Custody Determination (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | A Neutral (1) | Well-being (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Transition Day (1) | An Advocate (1) | Needs And Interests (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Eldercare (1) | Older Adults (1) | Pension (1) | Child-focused (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Communicating (1) | Fairness Evaluation (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Expectations (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Feelings (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Intention (1) | Languish (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Financial Impropriety (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Spousal Infidelity (1) | Consulting (1) | Spousal Support Payments (1) | Mediation Caucus (1) | Significant Others (1) | Introducing Significant Others (1) | Unfaithful Spouse (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Review Attorney (1) | Support Connection (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Hope (1) | Postnup (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Support (1) | Speak Up (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Inflation (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Buyout (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Real Estate (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Real Estate And Divorce (1) | Lowest Acceptable Offer (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Concession (1) | Joint Ownership Post Divorce (1) | Meditation (1) | Active Listening (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Cancer (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Disagreements (1) | Ideas (1) | Beliefs (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Daniel Pink (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Kindness (1) | Separate Living Without Divorce (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Bonuses (1) | Commissions (1) | Income Level (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Rights Of Inheritance (1) | Court (1) | Judge (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Happiness (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Mediation Friendly Attorney (1) | Regrets (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Collaboration (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Commitment (1) | Being Understood (1) | Being Heard (1) | Regrets In Life (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Holding On To Regrets (1) | Contentment (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | File A Petition (1) | Unmarried (1) | Biggest Regrets In Life (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | Apologizing (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Compassion (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Married Couples (1) | Commingling (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Fall (1) | Conflicy (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Intervention (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Wife (1) | Husband (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Joint Account (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Specialist (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Relocation (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | Scarcity (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | New York (1) | Affair (1) | Married (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Meditate (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | But (1) | Fiancé (1) | Holiday Co-Parenting (1) | Social Security Assets In Divorce (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Separating (1) | Guilt (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Career Change (1) | Returning To The Workforce (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Court Process (1) | Significant Other (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | Attitudes (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Dishonest (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | Spouses (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | Patience (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Lawyer (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Buyer (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Seller (1) | Caucus (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.