914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  . 

Striving for Perfection

March 20, 2019  | 
https://www.clarepiromediation.com/blog/striving-for-perfection/182/

{3:00 minutes to read} I’m writing this after a particularly stressful December. I anticipated that the rush to complete separation agreements by the end of the year would make for an unusual amount of stress. What I didn’t count on was the perfect storm in terms of anxiety when that unusual work stress combined with all that I needed to do in preparation for the holidays. No one, including myself, wanted to be around me for any length of time.

Clearly, the need for certain clients to have their agreements signed by the end of the year took precedence over my traditional holiday preparations. My choices were:

  • Not to do the same kind of entertaining and being with friends and family I had done in the past; or
  • Relax some of the standards I felt I needed for a "perfect" holiday celebration.

Thankfully, I decided I didn’t want to miss out on all of the joy of the season simply because I couldn’t do all of the shopping, decorating, or cooking to my arbitrary standard of “perfection,” and was able to thoroughly enjoy my time celebrating with friends and family.

That decision brought to mind the phrase, “the perfect is the enemy of the good.” Of course, trying to do our best should be the norm in all that we do, whether it’s in what we do for a living or in our personal lives. But is striving for perfection at all costs, what we should be doing at all times?

  • What if you refuse to try something new because you may not be perfect at it? 
  • Or what if you have so many rules as to the perfect significant other that you don’t give a person the chance to show his or her strength and character?
  • And how do you know you’ve achieved the perfect home/job/relationship anyway? Is it you who decides what perfect is? Or, is it some magazine, movie, or self-help guru?

Just think about all of the fun and companionship you would miss out on if you didn’t entertain your friends and family because you weren’t the perfect cook, or had the perfect home with all of the accouterments found in leading magazines.

Even more significantly, consider perfection in terms of a significant other. Why rule out a potential person just because he or she doesn’t meet a list of standards that you have determined are necessary to the perfect spouse? No one is “perfect,” and dismissing someone out of hand without getting to know him or her could prevent you from meeting someone who might actually be everything you really want.

So, in going forward, I intend to make a conscious effort to strive for the best instead of being on a perpetual quest for the perfect. 

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments
Search
Topics
Divorce (72) | Mediation (71) | Divorce Mediation (12) | Mediator (11) | Conflict (9) | Child Support (8) | Separation Agreement (7) | Litigation (7) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Consultation (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Separation (5) | Parenting (4) | Children (4) | Settlement (4) | Attorney (4) | Family (4) | Finances (4) | Clients (3) | Communication (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Expenses (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Truth (2) | Seperation (2) | Agreement (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Couples (2) | Divorce Mediator (2) | Legislation (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | College Expenses (2) | Apology (2) | Custody (2) | Step-Children (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Assets (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Bitterness (2) | Anger (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Mediate (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | CSSA (2) | Parenting Plan (2) | Step-Father (2) | Relationships (2) | Mediation Myths (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Divorce Finances (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Public Trust (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Affair (1) | Wife (1) | Married (1) | Husband (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Joint Decision Making (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Joint Account (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Therapy (1) | Dreaming (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Lies (1) | Divorce Coach (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Intervention (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Seller (1) | Buyer (1) | Refinance (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Patience (1) | Time To Process (1) | Financial Information (1) | Budgets (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Court Process (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | PostNup (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Lawyer (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Perfection (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | Dishonest (1) | Spouses (1) | Separation Agreements (1) | Anxiety (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Marital Home (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Spouse (1) | Blended Families (1) | Significant Other (1) | Attitudes (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Unemployment (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Year In Review (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Self-determination (1) | Self Determination (1) | 2015 (1) | Blame (1) | Dogs (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Agreements (1) | Budget (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | New York (1) | Change (1) | Relocation (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Co-Parenting (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Equity (1) | Mental Health (1) | Specialist (1) | House (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Consulting Attorney (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Listening (1) | Compromise (1) | College (1) | Nesting (1) | Compassion (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Responsibility (1) | Moving On (1) | Disclosure (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Married Couples (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Marital Property (1) | Separate Property (1) | Commingling (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Payments (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Scarcity (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Living Together (1) | Living Apart (1) | Resolution (1) | Marriage (1) | Conflicy (1) | Fall (1) | Extremes (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | Summer (1) | Kids (1) | School Year (1) | Negative Communication (1) |
Connect