914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Do I Want a Financial Professional Who is a Neutral or an Advocate?

September 16, 2020  | 
Businesswoman working on laptop at office

{3 minutes to read}

In an earlier post, I described the benefits of using a financial professional who acts as a neutral in mediation, but sometimes that may not work for you. Here are some factors to consider when deciding which will be best in your case.

An Advocate

If you choose to have the financial person be an advocate, they would be acting in the same way that an attorney would act on your behalf — looking out for your interests and how to achieve the best possible outcome for you. They would also be able to spend as much time with you as you feel you need, to ensure that you understand the budget process and the different outcomes that may be presented as options.
 
If you choose a financial professional advocate who has had either mediation training, or worked in a mediation or collaborative practice, they would be more likely to understand the other party’s needs and interests. Any proposals made by them would take those needs and interests into consideration.
 
If you choose a financial person who works primarily with clients in litigation or attorney-negotiated settlements, it is likely that they will adhere more closely to an advocacy role. This may not be conducive to mediation in the sense that your spouse may feel overwhelmed or outnumbered, especially if the financial professional participates in the meeting. If your spouse is very comfortable with financial matters, however, this may not be much of an issue and in any event, you and the financial professional can make it a point to try to ameliorate these potential feelings that could arise from your spouse.

 

As a Neutral

A financial professional who acts as a neutral likely has had mediation training and/or training in collaborative practice, and is attuned to the role of providing information and options for settlement without advocating for either party.
 
With consent from both of you, the financial professional can spend more time with one party. This can happen when that party feels they need a better understanding of budgeting or complicated financial options.
 
If you are looking for advice as to what to offer or accept, a neutral financial professional is just that — neutral. They cannot provide advice any more than a mediator can.

 

Which style is better for you depends on your comfort level in the process and willingness to make decisions as to support and equitable distribution. When you are fully comfortable, understand what is being proposed, and the ramifications of the different choices, making informed decisions is easier.

I have had successful mediations with both financial professionals as advocates and as neutrals, and while I admit I prefer that the financial professional be a neutral, the decision is one made by the parties. If you and your spouse disagree on the type of financial professional, you can mediate that issue and agree upon parameters as to the role the financial professional will play. 

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (121) | Divorce (112) | Separation (29) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Litigation (11) | Child Support (11) | Conflict (10) | Communication (10) | Separation Agreement (10) | Consultation (7) | Prenup (7) | Co-Parenting (7) | Attorney (7) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Parenting (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Marital Home (5) | Parenting Plan (5) | Marital Assets (4) | Expenses (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Settlement (4) | Agreement (4) | Finances (4) | Family (4) | Separate Property (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | CSSA (4) | Clients (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Family Court (3) | Relationships (3) | Emotions (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Marital Property (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Responsibility (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Listening (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Calculating Support (2) | Budgets (2) | Step-Children (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Bitterness (2) | Negotiation (2) | Anxiety (2) | Law Professionals (2) | Couples (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Entitlement (2) | Anger (2) | Grace (2) | Humanity (2) | Attitude (2) | Pandemic (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Mediate (2) | College Expenses (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Spouse (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Apology (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | CDFA (2) | Step-Father (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Budget (2) | Agreements (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Legislation (2) | Will (2) | Truth (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Custody (2) | Seperation (2) | Blended Families (2) | Inheritance (2) | Compromise (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Estate (2) | Retirement (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Pension Plans (1) | Intention (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | COVID 19 (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Languish (1) | Feelings (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Communicating (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Pensions (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Depression (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Thrive (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Caucus (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Active Listening (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Guilt (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Separating (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Eldercare (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Older Adults (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Expectations (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Custody Determination (1) | An Advocate (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Transition Day (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | A Neutral (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | Commitment (1) | Being Understood (1) | Being Heard (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Cancer (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Support Connection (1) | Collaboration (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Unmarried (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Hope (1) | Support (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Meditation (1) | Fairness (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Selling The Marital Home (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Real Estate (1) | Inflation (1) | Buyout (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Postnup (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Consulting (1) | File A Petition (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | ADR (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | Income Level (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | Pension (1) | Coparenting (1) | Perspective (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | CoParenting (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Empowerment (1) | Advocacy (1) | Opposites (1) | Personality (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Commissions (1) | Bonuses (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Kindness (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Happiness (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Parent Coordinator (1) | Contentment (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | Disagreements (1) | Judge (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Court (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Ideas (1) | Beliefs (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Moving On (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Payments (1) | Disclosure (1) | Parents (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Contribution (1) | Extremes (1) | Fall (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | Scarcity (1) | Kids (1) | School Year (1) | Conflicy (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | Compassion (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Joint Account (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Transmutation (1) | Commingling (1) | Married Couples (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Abundance (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Mental Health (1) | Specialist (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Change (1) | Relocation (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Halloween (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Self-determination (1) | Self Determination (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | New York (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Living Together (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Self-talk (1) | Advice (1) | Balance (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Equality (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Court Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Lawyer (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Patience (1) | Time To Process (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Fiancé (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Court Order (1) | COVID19 (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Apologizing (1) | But (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Meditate (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Seller (1) | Buyer (1) | Public Trust (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Married (1) | Lies (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Work Stress (1) | Spouses (1) | Dishonest (1) | Affair (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Intervention (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Wife (1) | Husband (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Perfection (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Refinance (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | MediationSession (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.