914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  . 

End of Summer? Oh, No!

August 30, 2016  | 

{2:36 minutes to read} I am one of those people who enjoys the changing of the seasons, even when it means that summer is over.

However, I’m not one of those people who feel that summer is over on the 5th of July. Even if we measure summer as Memorial Day to Labor Day, there are still two full months of summer to enjoy after the 4th of July. Why not savor these two months when it’s still 90 degrees in the shade instead of focusing on winter coming?

Conversely, people who tend to see summer as over on July 5th don’t tend to see winter as being over January 2nd. In fact, it’s much easier for them to become mired in the inconveniences of snow and ice. They may have a tendency to dwell on what they perceive as negative periods that they have to endure and not recognize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel—and that at some point, they will get there.

I see this dynamic with certain clients who are unable to envision a future. I wish there were an easy way for them to recognize that all of the feelings they are experiencing, such as anger, sadness, fear and doubt, are likely to pass in time.

When in the negotiation phase of a divorce, it may seem that they will never be done with it. It is the first thing on their minds when they wake up, and usually the last thing they think about as they are falling asleep. It generally takes over any unoccupied moment of the day, or when they are involved in mundane tasks.

Once the agreement is signed, clients have told me that it is as if a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. Not that life gets suddenly easier, but their focus can now be on their life going forward in a different, but hopefully less stressful, way.

In mediation, because the focus is always on the future rather than past grievances, clients are able to get through the negotiation morass more quickly. They are able to make terms in an agreement that will make moving forward easier, and the “different life” one they can manage.

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments
Search
Topics
Divorce (69) | Mediation (68) | Conflict (9) | Divorce Mediation (9) | Mediator (7) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Consultation (6) | Child Support (6) | Litigation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Separation Agreement (5) | Parenting (4) | Finances (4) | Family (4) | Children (4) | Divorce And Children (3) | Settlement (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Communication (3) | Expenses (3) | Separation (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Seperation (2) | Mediation Myths (2) | College Expenses (2) | Agreement (2) | Couples (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Divorce Finances (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Calculating Support (2) | CSSA (2) | Truth (2) | Assets (2) | Divorce Mediator (2) | Anger (2) | Legislation (2) | Bitterness (2) | Clients (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | College (1) | Nesting (1) | Payments (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Power (1) | School Year (1) | Parenting Plan (1) | Fall (1) | Extremes (1) | Responsibility (1) | Moving On (1) | Apology (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Disclosure (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Attorney (1) | Divorce Coach (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Joint Account (1) | Joint Decision Making (1) | Spouse (1) | Separate Property (1) | Commingling (1) | Marital Property (1) | Married Couples (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Transmutation (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Kids (1) | Compassion (1) | Dogs (1) | Equity (1) | Mental Health (1) | House (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Step-Children (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Specialist (1) | Relocation (1) | Self Determination (1) | New York State (1) | Self-determination (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Change (1) | Step-Father (1) | Step-Mother (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Co-Parenting (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Consulting Attorney (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Custody (1) | Control (1) | Living Apart (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Together (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Compromise (1) | Grandparents (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Resolution (1) | Marriage (1) | Relationships (1) | Scarcity (1) | Abundance (1) | Listening (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Year In Review (1) | 2015 (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Equality (1) | Balance (1) | Blame (1) | Advice (1) | Agreements (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Budget (1) | New York (1) | Self-talk (1) | Summer (1) |
Connect