914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

What is the Opposite of Scarcity?

July 5, 2016  | 

{3:36 minutes to read} I would have answered this question as “abundance,” which I suspect might be a common response. Not according to Brené Brown, however, in her book Daring Greatly. This amazing book is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable so you can achieve great things. Brené Brown believes that the opposite of scarcity is “enough.”

In other words, you are:

  • Good enough;
  • Smart enough;
  • Attractive enough;
  • Perfect enough; etc.

If you believe that you are enough, you can then face the vulnerability of putting yourself out there and risk the uncertain responses of others.

Clearly, this one sentence doesn’t come close to explaining Brown’s very thorough examination of how you can become more resilient and daring in today’s society. To get that deeper understanding of her thesis, I strongly recommend that everyone read the book.

In terms of “enough,” I was extremely struck by this novel way to combat scarcity. It’s a refreshing take on a society that bombards us with messages saying we can never be or have enough to be happy and fulfilled.

“I Just Want What I’m Entitled To.”

This concept came to mind when I recently heard this fairly common refrain from a client. With all of the uncertainty that separating couples face, I completely understand when one or both parties use that phrase. Undoubtedly, there are friends and family urging them to be sure, especially in mediation, to get all that they can—to not be taken advantage of by their spouse.

The thing is, though, to what are they entitled, and how is that determined?

If it’s what the law provides, that may not be such a clear cut answer. As I’ve mentioned in many posts, even something clearly defined in a maintenance or child support statute is not always so crystal clear when you consider income over the cap, and whether a court determines to apply the statute or not.

  • Even if something is clearly determined under the law, what if it doesn’t provide all that a person needs?
  • Or what if by making that payment, the other party doesn’t have enough to meet basic expenses?
  • If there are scarce resources, how are they to be allocated within the structure of entitlement?
  • Do you spend a small fortune for a trial to have a judge decide?
  • Do you leave it up to your attorneys?
  • More importantly, do you trust others to make that decision for you?

Why not be an active participant in a process to determine what works best for you and your partner? Whether there are scarce resources or not, a discussion focused on need and ability to pay seems to make more sense than a litigated battle over a legal entitlement.

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (141) | Divorce (132) | Separation (49) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Communication (11) | Litigation (11) | Separation Agreement (10) | Conflict (10) | Co-Parenting (8) | Attorney (7) | Consultation (7) | Parenting Plan (7) | Prenup (7) | Marital Home (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Parenting (6) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Finances (4) | Family (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Marital Property (4) | Expenses (4) | CSSA (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | Separate Property (4) | Settlement (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Agreement (4) | Clients (3) | Relationships (3) | Spousal Trust (3) | Parent Coordinator (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Responsibility (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Negotiation (3) | Emotions (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Family Court (3) | Blended Families (3) | Compromise (3) | Listening (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Apology (2) | College Expenses (2) | Inheritance (2) | Fairness (2) | Selling The Marital Home (2) | Estate (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Law Professionals (2) | CDFA (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Budgets (2) | Entitlement (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Pandemic (2) | Humanity (2) | Grace (2) | Spouse (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Spousal Support (2) | Attitude (2) | Anxiety (2) | Mediate (2) | Will (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Custody (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Couples (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Bitterness (2) | Legislation (2) | Budget (2) | Agreements (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Step-Children (2) | Change (2) | Seperation (2) | Truth (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Anger (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Trust Issues (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Step-Father (2) | Pensions (1) | Short-term Marriage Divorce (1) | Objective Standards In Mediation (1) | Divorce Agreements (1) | Thrive (1) | Impartiality (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Pension Plans (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | COVID 19 (1) | Retirement (1) | CoParenting (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Learning From The Past (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Coparenting (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | ADR (1) | New Year Resolutions (1) | Perspective (1) | Opposites (1) | Depression (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | Empowerment (1) | Personality (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Advocacy (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Objective Standards (1) | Compromise In Agreements (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Custody Determination (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | A Neutral (1) | Well-being (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Transition Day (1) | An Advocate (1) | Needs And Interests (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Eldercare (1) | Older Adults (1) | Pension (1) | Child-focused (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Communicating (1) | Fairness Evaluation (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Expectations (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Feelings (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Intention (1) | Languish (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Financial Impropriety (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Spousal Infidelity (1) | Consulting (1) | Spousal Support Payments (1) | Mediation Caucus (1) | Significant Others (1) | Introducing Significant Others (1) | Unfaithful Spouse (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Review Attorney (1) | Support Connection (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Hope (1) | Postnup (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Support (1) | Speak Up (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Inflation (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Buyout (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Real Estate (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Real Estate And Divorce (1) | Lowest Acceptable Offer (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Concession (1) | Joint Ownership Post Divorce (1) | Meditation (1) | Active Listening (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Cancer (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Disagreements (1) | Ideas (1) | Beliefs (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Daniel Pink (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Kindness (1) | Separate Living Without Divorce (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Bonuses (1) | Commissions (1) | Income Level (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Rights Of Inheritance (1) | Court (1) | Judge (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Happiness (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Mediation Friendly Attorney (1) | Regrets (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Collaboration (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Commitment (1) | Being Understood (1) | Being Heard (1) | Regrets In Life (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Holding On To Regrets (1) | Contentment (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | File A Petition (1) | Unmarried (1) | Biggest Regrets In Life (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | Apologizing (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Compassion (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Married Couples (1) | Commingling (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Fall (1) | Conflicy (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Intervention (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Wife (1) | Husband (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Joint Account (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Specialist (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Relocation (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | Scarcity (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | New York (1) | Affair (1) | Married (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Meditate (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | But (1) | Fiancé (1) | Holiday Co-Parenting (1) | Social Security Assets In Divorce (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Separating (1) | Guilt (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Career Change (1) | Returning To The Workforce (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Court Process (1) | Significant Other (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | Attitudes (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Dishonest (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | Spouses (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | Patience (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Lawyer (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Buyer (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Seller (1) | Caucus (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.