June 9, 2015 - {3:36 minutes to read}  New York enacted a statute several years ago to put some clarity into the process of modifying child support. The statute provides that there are three bases for a party to ask a Court to modify support: (1) a substantial change in circumstances; (2) the passage of three years since the last order or modification; or (3) that a party’s income has changed by 15% or more since the last order or modification. In a separation agreement, [...]

May 26, 2015 - {3:42 minutes to read} Imagine that you’ve been living separately under your agreement for a few years and are co-parenting with your former spouse. Things are going better than you ever imagined, your children are happy, and then your former spouse informs you that she will be losing her job unless she accepts a transfer to Florida. Because that job results in a significant increase in salary, and because she then will be able to be close to where her parents and [...]

March 17, 2015 - {3:30 minutes to read} . Do we choose our profession because of our basic personality, or does our profession cause us to form a certain personality trait? I've always had a “never say die” kind of attitude. I would always think that I could fix it or make it better, be it a relationship or a friend who was upset. I could fix just about anything that had gone awry. A basic problem solver. This attitude wasn't always to my advantage when it came to personal [...]

February 18, 2015 - {2:50 minutes to read} Clients can become exasperated by all of my “what if” questions as I try to provide for future changes of circumstance. I do this with the hope that their agreement can address these changes so they never need to return to mediation. However, there are some things that can never be anticipated, and other circumstances that, while they might happen, are not worth the time and effort to explore at the time the couple is separating. So, [...]

December 22, 2014 - In my last blog, I wrote about how a mediation can begin if one spouse isn’t quite as prepared to divorce as the other party. Now, I would like to address what happens when those feelings do not diminish as the mediation progresses. The practical effect in a mediation when one party is reluctant to divorce can be that the reluctant party continually expresses blame and fault against the other party. They may say things like “I didn’t want this, so why [...]

November 26, 2014 - As much as I try, it’s almost impossible to simply enjoy a holiday for itself. We are bombarded around the clock with holiday movies and television commercials showing elaborate and bountiful meals around a table full of happy family and friends.  All of the homes have decorations that could rival those found in major department stores. It’s hard not to expect that picture perfect holiday. If you’re going through a divorce and this is your first h [...]

November 11, 2014 - There are so many issues that a divorcing couple must face: How to tell the children Where will each live Whether or not they can afford to live separately Starting mediation can easily add to the apprehension, yet beginning mediation can actually be a positive step toward gaining control of your changing circumstances because the timetable, the agenda and of course, the outcome, are completely up to the two of you. There are concrete issues that need to be addr [...]

October 28, 2014 - I love Halloween, and I love being scared. Scary can be fun when it’s within your control, like I am with my Halloween decorations. A five-foot replica of Frankenstein’s monster, which dances to the Monster Mash A fake graveyard in front of my house, with silly inscriptions on the stones Zombie garden gnomes A full-size skeleton sitting in a chair on the porch, wearing a baseball cap backwards, a college sweatshirt and sweat pants It's all more ridic [...]

September 3, 2014 - It’s not unusual for couples to discuss and agree upon an outline for a parenting plan before they begin mediation. When this happens, the mediator’s job is to talk to them about the practical effects of their agreement. Overnights: Both parents may believe that overnights during the week for the non-custodial parent would be good for the children. Reality dictates that you discuss if the children can get to school on time and have all of the things needed f [...]

February 11, 2014 - One of the things that I emphasize with clients is that an important part of the mediation process is to make sure that the agreement is durable, meaning that the agreement will work as well for you in practice as it sounds in theory. Of course, you cannot anticipate each and every possible circumstance that might happen in the future, but we do try to address as many contingencies as possible. I will be addressing future modifications to support payments in another pos [...]

May 20, 2013 - There are so many issues that a divorcing couple must face–how to tell the children, where will each live, whether or not they can afford to live separately–starting mediation can easily add to the apprehension. I believe, however, that beginning mediation can actually be a positive step toward gaining control of your changing circumstances. The two of you set the timetable, the agenda and, of course, the outcome. There are concrete issues that need to be a [...]

January 7, 2011 - It is very difficult in New York State to be successful in a Court action to set aside an agreement for the reason that if it was easy to change separation agreements, people would not spend the time and the money to enter into them. This would then result in more litigation, which is not what the Courts want. Among factors that a Court will consider is whether or not an agreement is unconscionable or if one of the parties was unduly influenced. The standards are the sam [...]