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Mediation Blog

Topic: Mediator | 59 post(s).

September 3, 2014 - It’s not unusual for couples to discuss and agree upon an outline for a parenting plan before they begin mediation. When this happens, the mediator’s job is to talk to them about the practical effects of their agreement. Overnights: Both parents may believe that overnights during the week for the non-custodial parent would be good for the children. Reality dictates that you discuss if the children can get to school on time and have all of the things needed f [...]

February 11, 2014 - One of the things that I emphasize with clients is that an important part of the mediation process is to make sure that the agreement is durable, meaning that the agreement will work as well for you in practice as it sounds in theory. Of course, you cannot anticipate each and every possible circumstance that might happen in the future, but we do try to address as many contingencies as possible. I will be addressing future modifications to support payments in another pos [...]

December 17, 2013 - Admittedly, it is uncomfortable to raise the idea of signing a pre-nuptial agreement with the person with whom you have just agreed to spend the rest of your life. And it’s unlikely to get any more comfortable for you when you actually start discussing the terms of the agreement. That said, it is a discussion that I recommend anyone planning a marriage have if one of you has accumulated more assets than the other, expect a major inheritance, have children from a p [...]

October 30, 2013 - Previously, I wrote about how a mediation can begin if one spouse isn’t quite as prepared to divorce as the other party. Now, I would like to address what happens when those feelings do not diminish as the mediation progresses. The practical effect in a mediation when one party is reluctant to divorce can be that the reluctant party expresses blame and fault against the other party continually or says things like “I didn’t want this, so why should I ha [...]

September 5, 2013 - It’s rare in my practice for both parties to be in the same frame of mind about getting a divorce. Most often, one person is more prepared for the process and the separation, and the other party may not even have come to terms with the concept that the marriage will come to an end. What can each of them do? When I used to litigate, you needed grounds for divorce, and if the person who wanted the divorce had no grounds and the other person was hesitant to divorce, [...]

July 24, 2013 - One of the most fascinating aspects of mediation is how the process can transform someone who feels reticent or insecure in decision making. At the initial consultation, clients often say that they are concerned that within the process of mediation they may not “get a good deal” and question if they are able to mediate because they do not have the same financial expertise as the other party, or perhaps the other party is more educated or has more business sa [...]

January 4, 2012 - Even though mediation is a process in which the parties themselves make an agreement that works best for them and their family, I have yet to meet clients who are not interested in or choose not to be informed as to what the law provides. As a mediator, I think it is important for clients to know what the law provides and what might happen if a court were to determine the outcome of their divorce because I feel it is impossible for them to waive a right without knowing [...]

July 6, 2011 - As a mediator, I do not insist that my clients use review or consulting attorneys as a matter of course. I feel that the self-determination of the clients in mediation is paramount and that this extends to the decision of whether or not he or she retains an attorney. However, I do recommend that clients seek the advice of an attorney at the very least before signing a Separation Agreement because I think that it is important for clients to get the kind of legal advice th [...]

January 7, 2011 - It is very difficult in New York State to be successful in a Court action to set aside an agreement for the reason that if it was easy to change separation agreements, people would not spend the time and the money to enter into them. This would then result in more litigation, which is not what the Courts want. Among factors that a Court will consider is whether or not an agreement is unconscionable or if one of the parties was unduly influenced. The standards are the sam [...]

September 16, 2010 - If that were true, there would be no need to mediate. Of course people who disagree can mediate, just like people who are angry can mediate and people who don’t really like each other can mediate. All they have to do is agree to mediate, not agree upon every issue between them. Mediators do not expect their clients to talk quietly and never raise their voices, and a mediator truly has to feel comfortable being in the middle of people expressing anger and frustratio [...]

August 16, 2010 - If you and your spouse have decided that you need to separate, it would seem that the last thing you would want to do is to engage in a process that would be costly, inefficient and likely to increase the rancor between you. Yet, that is sadly what most couples unknowingly do if they believe that they have no option other than to litigate their divorce. Mediation is a more sane option that is likely to resolve the couple’s conflicts with an emphasis on reaching an [...]

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