May 17, 2023 -   Have you spent time thinking about mediation and what it will be like? Are you concerned that mediation may not be for you? Are you mired in past grievances, and afraid you will express your anger or disappointment out loud? Do you believe you are supposed to agree about everything at the end, no matter what? In this video, we examine these “unrealistic” expectations and look at ways to get beyond them and reach a successful conclusion for all parti [...]

October 13, 2022 -   In New York, there is a statute that gives a surviving spouse the right to elect against the Will of a deceased spouse, if that Will leaves them with less than the greater of a third of the estate or $50,000. In a prenup, you can waive that Right of Election if circumstances warrant it. Mediation is a good place to talk about your expectations and what would be appropriate to maintain your standard of living. If you would like more information about mediation a [...]

July 16, 2021 -   Strong emotions can arise when you are talking about distributing a pension. By explaining why each of you feels entitled to the pension, you can open the door to a productive discussion and start talking about options in a way that recognizes what you both need and what your expectations are. Through that discussion, you may be able to reach a settlement that's going to meet those needs and expectations.     [...]

January 15, 2021 - {2 minutes to read} Like everyone else in the world, I looked forward to 2021 and the opportunity to put 2020 behind me. While we all hoped that the new year would bring something better — in health, in politics, and in regaining in-person connections to friends and family — of course, nothing changed at the stroke of midnight. And then I thought about expectations. The meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein, speaks about “the next pleasant thing.&rdquo [...]

December 5, 2017 - {3:42 minutes to read} I was talking to a colleague recently about a mediation. She was surprised that it took as many meetings as it did to reach a resolution and that the couple almost terminated the process. It was a relatively short-term marriage of a few years, and they had no children, so she had not expected that it would be difficult. I agree that expectations of difficulty are often misleading. At an initial consultation, I can only judge a mediation’s di [...]

August 16, 2016 - {3:30 minutes to read} When I began practicing family law, one of the first lessons I learned was that clients do not consider all assets the same. The one asset that consistently holds a very special place in the heart of a client is a pension. Clients express feeling a different sense of entitlement to their pension because: They performed at a job where their lives, health and safety were placed in jeopardy; They may have taken less in salary for the assurance of [...]