September 28, 2022 -   Prenups get a bad rap, but there are times when they may be appropriate. This video looks at some circumstances where one party may have a concern that they feel would be addressed best with a prenup. Valid reasons or not, this could still be a difficult conversation to have with your fiance, so have the discussion as far in advance of your marriage as you can. If you would like more information about mediation and prenups, check out my website — ClarePir [...]

September 15, 2022 - {3 minutes to read} If you and your spouse have a lot of conflict between you, you're going to want to have as much detail as possible in your parenting agreement. Here are a few tips that can help you to achieve that during your mediation.  1. Speak Up.    Clearly, your mediator is going to be aware of the level of conflict between the two of you and will raise the issues that are most commonly addressed in Separation Agreements in terms of parent [...]

August 10, 2022 -   So, what is a sunset clause? By definition, it means that after a defined period of time, the clause has no effect. In a prenup, a sunset clause can take different forms but usually refers to voiding the agreement or only certain terms of the agreement after a period of time. In some cases, certain terms are actually expanded. Whether or not it's right for you is clearly something that the two of you need to decide. If you would like more information about medi [...]

July 13, 2022 - Sometimes there isn’t a lot of conflict between you and your spouse, and you feel that you won’t have any problems with joint decision making but including a default provision in your agreement, just in case things don't go as expected, might be wise. If you would like more information about mediation and joint decision making, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com. [...]

June 24, 2022 -   This video is about hope and the support that my friend Julie received from the group Support Connection, prior to her death from ovarian cancer. Like anyone given this diagnosis, she felt alone and scared and had no idea where to turn for help. But then, she found Support Connection, a lifeline for women who have breast or ovarian cancer. Julie not only found hope but was able to give support and inspiration to others. So much so, that in 2018 she was given th [...]

May 24, 2022 -   As is often the answer to questions like this, it depends. In this case, however, the answer may depend on how you define success. What are your measurement criteria? Just ending up with a signed Separation Agreement might be one, but in this video, I look at some other aspects of the mediation process that may also be valid reasons for success.If you think that mediation is the process for you, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com. [...]

April 20, 2022 - {3 minutes to read} When I meet with clients who will have difficulty in making joint decisions about their children after the Separation Agreement is signed, the first thing we do is discuss a structure that will help them. If their level of conflict is so high that even after such a process, they STILL will be in conflict, we will discuss if they could agree to one parent making the final decisions. Or having one parent make final decisions regarding education issues [...]

April 6, 2022 -   I remember when I used to represent clients in adversarial settings long ago, I would have some clients who would win in the sense that they got what they wanted but they weren't happy. I also had some clients who settled, and they weren't too happy, either. Now, I am definitely not saying that all mediation clients are happy. Happiness is a tough concept when you're talking about the end of a relationship but I often see a level of contentment in mediation cli [...]

March 3, 2022 - After my last video on grace, a colleague asked if I had any examples of parties showing grace in mediation. Actually, I have many but one from several years ago sticks out. The husband had done something that not only irreparably damaged the trust between the parties but also had a financial effect on the whole family. Even under those circumstances, the wife was able to show compassion and grace to the husband.     [...]

February 16, 2022 -   I became intrigued with the idea of grace after hearing an interview with Kirsten Powers about her book Saving Grace. A lot of what she said and wrote in the book really resonated with me. Especially in the last several years — we've been treating people with whom we disagree in terms of beliefs and ideas, not only with a lack of grace but with a lack of humanity. We just see them as the sum total of their ideas, as opposed to individuals with whom we may [...]

January 19, 2022 -   The term Add-On describes expenses that are in addition to the standard child support expenses. There are mandatory add-ons outlined in the New York Child Support Statute (CSSA) but what about all the little or not so little extra expenses such as extracurricular activities for the children, tutoring expenses, birthday party expenses, etc. This video discusses those expenses and offers several ways divorced parents may decide to address them.  [...]

December 16, 2021 - {4 minutes to read} The most typical way a pension is divided would be through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO provides that, at retirement, the marital portion of the pension will be divided in the way that you have agreed upon in your Separation Agreement, usually 50%. The marital portion is the part that accumulated during the marriage. But you’re in mediation, so you don’t have to do what is typically done. Especially if the QDRO does [...]