December 16, 2021 - {4 minutes to read} The most typical way a pension is divided would be through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO provides that, at retirement, the marital portion of the pension will be divided in the way that you have agreed upon in your Separation Agreement, usually 50%. The marital portion is the part that accumulated during the marriage. But you’re in mediation, so you don’t have to do what is typically done. Especially if the QDRO does [...]

December 2, 2021 -   Family Court Mediation is a topic I’ve never spoken about, but I have been working with clients in Family Court recently. Family Court is a very busy court and takes many months and years to get through the process. Mediation is a much more streamlined process. First, mediate, but if you are already involved in Family Court ask about mediation and see if you can get into the Family Court Presumptive ADR Program.   [...]

November 18, 2021 -   Couples with opposite personality traits may thrive as one’s style is countered by the opposite style. When they divorce, the characteristics that attracted them to one another can now seem annoying and negative. Discussing between yourselves can lead to fights, but mediation can allow you to frame your differences in more positive ways. [...]

October 29, 2021 -   If one party takes their separate property and puts it toward a jointly owned home, they may be entitled, by NY law, to a separate property credit when divorcing. This can be difficult because people don't lead their married lives in anticipation of getting a divorce, so the separate property credit can have both practical and emotional consequences. [...]

October 11, 2021 -   When you involve a consulting attorney, you want one who is a proponent of mediation. One who will help you acquire the skills and tools to advocate for yourself. The discussion in mediation can then be more mutual and result in terms that are more reasonable. In mediation, parties are empowered by making their own decisions and being an advocate for themselves. [...]

September 24, 2021 -   You're going through a separation and your communication with your co-parent is awful. You fight about everything. You're wondering: ''How are we ever going to be able to agree upon major decisions about our children, and what are we going to do if we can't make any decisions?'' Your answer to that might be: ''Well, maybe I should just say I'll be the sole decision-maker and I'll ask for sole custody.'' While that sounds rational to you, it's not going to have [...]

August 26, 2021 -   If your spouse has some financial or legal knowledge that you don't, you may feel at a disadvantage in mediation. But you don’t have to give up all of the benefits of mediation just because of your spouse’s profession. The answer is to seek professionals who can help you to become empowered and feel comfortable in mediation, so you can properly advocate for yourself, and make the best decisions you can.     [...]

August 12, 2021 -   There are many special occasions to share in your life and the lives of your children. When divorcing, however, those occasions can become mini-battlegrounds, causing discomfort to visitors and your children. If you have children, you will be co-parenting for life. In mediation, we can build in ways to handle conflicts as the lives of you and your children move forward. [...]

July 16, 2021 -   Strong emotions can arise when you are talking about distributing a pension. By explaining why each of you feels entitled to the pension, you can open the door to a productive discussion and start talking about options in a way that recognizes what you both need and what your expectations are. Through that discussion, you may be able to reach a settlement that's going to meet those needs and expectations.     [...]

June 30, 2021 -   To the extent that your pension was accumulated during the marriage, it would be treated like any other assets subject to distribution. But there may need to be more to the discussion than just what the law provides. [...]

June 9, 2021 -   Since I recorded this video two weeks ago and now at posting, NY is opening up! Despite this great news towards normalcy, I think many people are still feeling unsettled. In his article in the New York Times, Adam Grant describes these feelings as “languishing.” You aren’t clinically depressed but you are still not thriving. It’s hard to focus and you just don't feel like working. Sound familiar? [...]

May 18, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} The idea of a prenuptial agreement is familiar to most people — an agreement that a couple can enter into before their marriage that can provide how property and debt will be distributed in the event of death or a divorce. It can also provide for paying or waiving spousal support. But what exactly is a postnuptial agreement, and why would anyone want one? A postnuptial agreement is an agreement that a married couple can create to do the very th [...]