914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Baby Boomer Grandparents

June 7, 2016  | 
Baby Boomer Grandparents  by Clare Piro

{4:18 minutes to read} As Lesley Stahl was making the rounds on various talk shows, promoting her new book, Becoming Grandma, the Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting, I learned that the omnipresent Boomer generation has once again made its presence known and adopted its own version of being a grandparent.

I was then inspired to do a little research—admittedly over the internet, so I am not attesting to complete accuracy. From my experience, though, what I found seems to be on point.

  • Nearly 60% of the grandparent population are baby boomers.
  • The average age of grandparents is 48.
  • The vast majority of grandparents are active online and a majority are still employed.
    Grandparents control a good amount of the wealth in the country and are generous in supporting their adult children and grandchildren.
  • While only 13% are the primary caregivers, 72% take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis.

This is in line with both my personal experience and mediation practice. When I look at my friends and family members who are grandparents, I certainly don’t see the stereotypical image of a retired white-haired couple, who spend their time at home waiting for visits from the grandkids. I see active, vibrant people who look a lot younger than they are and enjoy being called variations of grandma and grandpa. They cherish the time with their grandchildren and play a vital role in their lives. They enrich the lives of not just their grandchildren, but their children’s and their own lives as well.

When dealing with divorce, we naturally tend to focus on the negative aspects of ex in-laws since they are more prevalent. But looking at the various permutations of family that happen after divorce, one potentially positive aspect can be found in the multitude of grandparents. It is becoming more and more common, as in my family, that children have 3 or 4 grandfathers and grandmothers who all love them and make an effort to be a part of their lives.

In mediation, I see clients turn to grandparents

  • as caregivers,
  • as a place for a newly divorced child to live,
  • to pay for college, and
  • to provide financial support.

Even if the clients don’t mention grandparents during the mediation, I do when I ask if the clients agree that, in the unlikely death of one of them, access between the children and the deceased parent’s family would be encouraged. Unless there is something very negative going on, the answer is always “Yes.” Even in contentious cases, most parents express a continuing relationship between the children and the “other” grandparents/extended family as a positive thing.

There is also the effect that a divorced child’s grandparents can have on the child’s siblings from a second marriage. It was before my time with my husband, but I understand that when his son’s mother remarried and had another son, not only did my husband take that child out while he was visiting his son, but his parents did as well, taking both children to lunch, or the zoo, or park. In fact, my mother-in-law left a bequest to her grandson’s brother, which was thoughtful and so meaningful to him.

As comfortable as the stereotypical image that some of us grew up with is, the new version of grandparents will be equally positive to today’s children of divorce.


Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (142) | Divorce (132) | Separation (49) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Litigation (11) | Communication (11) | Separation Agreement (10) | Conflict (10) | Co-Parenting (8) | Parenting (7) | Attorney (7) | Prenup (7) | Consultation (7) | Marital Home (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Parenting Plan (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Expenses (4) | CSSA (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Agreement (4) | Family (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | Finances (4) | Separate Property (4) | Marital Property (4) | Settlement (4) | Relationships (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Spousal Trust (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Listening (3) | Family Court (3) | Clients (3) | Emotions (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Negotiation (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Responsibility (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Compromise (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Blended Families (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Apology (2) | Bitterness (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Step-Children (2) | Fairness (2) | Step-Father (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Selling The Marital Home (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | College Expenses (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Entitlement (2) | CDFA (2) | Will (2) | Law Professionals (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Spouse (2) | Budgets (2) | Humanity (2) | Grace (2) | Estate (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Inheritance (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Trust Issues (2) | Parent Coordinator (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Change (2) | Anxiety (2) | Budget (2) | Truth (2) | Custody (2) | Anger (2) | Attitude (2) | Mediate (2) | Pandemic (2) | Legislation (2) | Seperation (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Agreements (2) | Guilt (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Spousal Support (2) | Couples (2) | Commissions (1) | Income Level (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Personality (1) | Bonuses (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Opposites (1) | Coparenting (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | CoParenting (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | ADR (1) | Perspective (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | Empowerment (1) | Judge (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Pension (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Advocacy (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Older Adults (1) | Eldercare (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Expectations (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Intention (1) | Feelings (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | A Neutral (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Custody Determination (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Pension Plans (1) | COVID 19 (1) | An Advocate (1) | Thrive (1) | Retirement (1) | Pensions (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Depression (1) | Languish (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Communicating (1) | Family Mediations (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Transition Day (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Court (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Hope (1) | Introducing Significant Others (1) | Significant Others (1) | Mediation Caucus (1) | Speak Up (1) | Spousal Support Payments (1) | Financial Impropriety (1) | Mediation Friendly Attorney (1) | Review Attorney (1) | Unfaithful Spouse (1) | Spousal Infidelity (1) | Concession (1) | Lowest Acceptable Offer (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | Real Estate And Divorce (1) | Joint Ownership Post Divorce (1) | Active Listening (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Regrets (1) | Regrets In Life (1) | Needs And Interests (1) | Compromise In Agreements (1) | Child-focused (1) | Objective Standards (1) | Well-being (1) | Child Wellbeing (1) | Regret Avoidance (1) | Fault Assessment (1) | Realty Testing (1) | Decision Making (1) | Fairness Evaluation (1) | Divorce Agreements (1) | Separate Living Without Divorce (1) | Daniel Pink (1) | Holding On To Regrets (1) | Biggest Regrets In Life (1) | Rights Of Inheritance (1) | New Year Resolutions (1) | Objective Standards In Mediation (1) | Impartiality (1) | Short-term Marriage Divorce (1) | Learning From The Past (1) | Buyout (1) | Inflation (1) | Unmarried (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | File A Petition (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Being Heard (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Collaboration (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Contentment (1) | Disagreements (1) | Ideas (1) | Beliefs (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Kindness (1) | Happiness (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Being Understood (1) | Commitment (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Consulting (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Meditation (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Real Estate (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Support Connection (1) | Cancer (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Postnup (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Support (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Compassion (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Married Couples (1) | Commingling (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Fall (1) | Conflicy (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Affair (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Wife (1) | Husband (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Joint Account (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Specialist (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Relocation (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | Scarcity (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | New York (1) | Married (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Holiday Co-Parenting (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Fiancé (1) | Meditate (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Apologizing (1) | But (1) | Social Security Assets In Divorce (1) | Returning To The Workforce (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Caucus (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Separating (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Career Change (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | MediationSession (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Dishonest (1) | Spouses (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | Lawyer (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Court Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Patience (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Buyer (1) | Seller (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Co-parenting (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.