914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  . 

Co-Parenting During COVID-19

April 21, 2020  | 
Closeup of father and son at home

{4 minutes to read} As I’m writing this on March 30, 2020, the Courts in New York State are open only for emergency relief, such as family offenses/orders of protection and child protective matters. Parents who are having non-emergency custody disputes are unable to access courts at this time to resolve their dispute.

In an article in the New York Law Journal, Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, the Statewide Coordinating Judge for Matrimonial Cases, was praised on two diverse listservs to which I belong, for his uniquely helpful approach.

Judge Sunshine presented the perspective of a judge’s thought process in hearing such a dispute, as a guide for advice attorneys could provide to clients, and the actions that clients should follow. In considering one of the factors that determine custody, namely, which parent is likely to provide access to the other, Judge Sunshine looks to the parties’ present behavior as an indication of how they will act in the future.

A parent may disobey a court order and refuse access to the child, knowing that the other parent is unable to go to court immediately to seek relief. This could result in a short-term “win,” but such behavior could have a major negative impact on the ultimate decision for that parent.

On an even more fundamental level, though, Judge Sunshine notes that how parents relate to each other in these times “will shape their relationship with each other as divorced parents in the future, the relationship they have with their children and most importantly the relationship that their children have with them.”

While modeling appropriate behavior has always been a vital role of a parent, it cannot be overstated how crucial that is now. What do you want your children to remember?

  • Their parents working together to find a way to keep them in touch with both parents, when they so deeply needed both of them in their lives; or  
  • One parent trying to manipulate the crisis to gain an advantage over the other parent?

Of course, there can be genuine safety reasons why a parent might not think it’s in the children’s best interests to visit the other parent. In that case, both parents can accept a temporary halt to in-person visits and have virtual visits to preserve the continuity of the relationship.

The daily toll this pandemic takes on all of us is enormous. That stress is even greater for those who are struggling to maintain co-parenting with someone with whom they barely agree on anything. If you are trying to be reasonable but have a co-parent who refuses to do the same, then you should contact your attorney and see if there is anything that can be done. But if you both can understand that working together now will significantly impact your children’s future in a much more positive way, it could lead to a much better outcome.

Please take a look at these PRACTICAL TIPS published by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts that parents sharing custody can follow. See if they can help you navigate through this time.

If you are both willing, you can also research parenting coordinators, co-parenting coaches, and mental health professionals in your area, who can help you to address your immediate concerns.

As always, but never more profoundly than now, please consider mediating your dispute if no other options have helped. Most mediators are providing mediation services online and remain committed to helping you reach a child-centered resolution.

Stay well. 

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments
Search
Topics
Mediation (74) | Divorce (72) | Divorce Mediation (18) | Mediator (13) | Conflict (9) | Child Support (8) | Litigation (8) | Separation Agreement (7) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Consultation (6) | Communication (5) | Separation (5) | Children (4) | Finances (4) | Settlement (4) | Attorney (4) | Parenting (4) | Family (4) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Expenses (3) | Clients (3) | Equitable Distribution (3) | Marital Assets (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Seperation (2) | Relationships (2) | Legislation (2) | Separate Property (2) | Assets (2) | Listening (2) | Custody (2) | Compromise (2) | Marital Home (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | CSSA (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Marital Property (2) | Spouse (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Truth (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Informed Decisions (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Step-Father (2) | Step-Children (2) | College Expenses (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Agreement (2) | Mediate (2) | Co-Parenting (2) | Apology (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Anger (2) | Parenting Plan (2) | Bitterness (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Couples (2) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Buyer (1) | Married (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Refinance (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Seller (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | Perfection (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Anxiety (1) | Public Trust (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Dishonest (1) | Spouses (1) | Separation Agreements (1) | MediationSession (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Lies (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | Blended Families (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Meditate (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Court Order (1) | COVID19 (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Understood (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Guilt (1) | Separating (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Pandemic (1) | Apologizing (1) | But (1) | Budgets (1) | Financial Information (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Court Process (1) | Entitlement (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | PostNup (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Lawyer (1) | Negotiation (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Fiancé (1) | Financial Professional (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Emotions (1) | Prenup (1) | Affair (1) | Patience (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | New York (1) | Self-talk (1) | Budget (1) | Agreements (1) | Dogs (1) | Advice (1) | Blame (1) | Equality (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Year In Review (1) | 2015 (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Abundance (1) | Scarcity (1) | Resolution (1) | Marriage (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Grandparents (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Living Together (1) | Living Apart (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Balance (1) | Control (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Consulting Attorney (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Halloween (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Self-determination (1) | Self Determination (1) | New York State (1) | Change (1) | Relocation (1) | House (1) | Equity (1) | Mental Health (1) | Specialist (1) | Summer (1) | Kids (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Joint Account (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Joint Decision Making (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Divorce Coach (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Husband (1) | Wife (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Therapy (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Payments (1) | Unemployment (1) | Responsibility (1) | Moving On (1) | Extremes (1) | Fall (1) | School Year (1) | Power (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Disclosure (1) | Parents (1) | Commingling (1) | Transmutation (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Married Couples (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Contribution (1) | College (1) | Nesting (1) | Compassion (1) | Bankruptcy (1) |
Connect

Online Mediation Available

In response to COVID-19 I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.