914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Need Help in Making Decisions in Mediation?

August 17, 2018  | 

{3:42 minutes to read}  One of the major benefits of mediation is that parties make the decisions about their lives and the lives of their children. Self-determination is an awesome responsibility in that regard, and couples should be prepared to accept that responsibility when choosing to mediate.

To me, this would mean that parties should make sure that they have all of the resources they may need in order to make the best decisions they can.

Choosing the Mediator

After you both decide to mediate, this is clearly your first joint decision in the process. You will want the mediator to be experienced and have a practice dedicated to mediation. You will want one who attends continuing education and who is active in the mediation community. You also want a mediator that you both feel is able to:

  • Not take sides;
  • Speak about complex terms in a manner you both understand;
  • Show patience and understanding to both of you;
  • Be non-judgmental.

To determine that the mediator has the qualities you seek, ask for a consultation. Many mediators will offer a brief consultation at no charge, so take advantage of that.

Other Professionals

To help them in decision making, I encourage parties to get as much information from as many resources as they can. Not all clients feel this is necessary, and in terms of self-determination, that is their choice to make and responsibility to assume.

For those who want to seek guidance from other professionals to assist in making decisions about the various aspects of the mediation process, they can consult with:

An Attorney

  • To learn their legal rights and responsibilities before they begin mediation;
  • To discuss terms of settlement that they can propose;
  • To, if all parties agree, accompany them to the mediation;
  • To review the final agreement.

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA)

  • To get help in making a budget and assembling financial information;
  • To educate themselves on financial matters;
  • To, if all parties agree, accompany them to the mediation.

A Divorce Coach

  • To manage and contain highly charged emotions so they can focus in meetings;
  • To address a specific situation like an affair;
  • To recognize triggers that can derail a meeting, and develop a strategy to avoid reacting to them.

A Child Specialist

  • To help determine what is the children’s best interests;
  • To help create a parenting plan that will encourage the developmental capabilities of the children;
  • To meet with the children, if appropriate, and ensure that the children have a voice in the decisions.

In many ways, mediation can be more difficult than just handing everything over to an attorney. Parties have the utmost responsibility in the process, as it should be, since they are the ones who will be living with the outcome. Be sure to get all the help you possibly need so the decisions you make are the best ones for you and your family.

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (128) | Divorce (119) | Separation (36) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Litigation (11) | Separation Agreement (10) | Communication (10) | Conflict (10) | Attorney (7) | Prenup (7) | Co-Parenting (7) | Consultation (7) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Parenting (6) | Marital Home (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Parenting Plan (5) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Agreement (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Family (4) | Finances (4) | Settlement (4) | CSSA (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | Expenses (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Separate Property (4) | Relationships (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Emotions (3) | Listening (3) | Family Court (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Blended Families (3) | Responsibility (3) | Clients (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Marital Property (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Negotiation (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Spouse (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Attitude (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Step-Father (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Apology (2) | College Expenses (2) | Step-Children (2) | Will (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Grace (2) | Bitterness (2) | Entitlement (2) | Budgets (2) | Anger (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Pandemic (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Law Professionals (2) | Mediate (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Inheritance (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Anxiety (2) | CDFA (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Spousal Support (2) | Humanity (2) | Agreements (2) | Selling The Marital Home (2) | Truth (2) | Budget (2) | Compromise (2) | Couples (2) | Seperation (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Custody (2) | Legislation (2) | Estate (2) | Mediating Emails (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Communicating (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Intention (1) | Feelings (1) | Concession (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Real Estate And Divorce (1) | Lowest Acceptable Offer (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | Depression (1) | Joint Ownership Post Divorce (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | Legal Rights (1) | CoParenting (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | Advocacy (1) | Empowerment (1) | Active Listening (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Pensions (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Languish (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Thrive (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Retirement (1) | Pension Plans (1) | COVID 19 (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Caucus (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Transition Day (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Significant Others (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Spousal Support Payments (1) | Separating (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Introducing Significant Others (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Eldercare (1) | Older Adults (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Custody Determination (1) | A Neutral (1) | An Advocate (1) | Mediation Caucus (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Speak Up (1) | Expectations (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Real Estate (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Collaboration (1) | Being Heard (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Inflation (1) | Buyout (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | Unmarried (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | File A Petition (1) | Being Understood (1) | Commitment (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Postnup (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Consulting (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Support (1) | Hope (1) | Cancer (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Support Connection (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Fairness (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Meditation (1) | Parent Coordinator (1) | Contentment (1) | Pension (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | ADR (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | Bonuses (1) | Commissions (1) | Income Level (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Coparenting (1) | Perspective (1) | Opposites (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Disagreements (1) | Kindness (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Happiness (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Ideas (1) | Beliefs (1) | Court (1) | Judge (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Guilt (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Personality (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Commingling (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Married Couples (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Parents (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Contribution (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Compassion (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Husband (1) | Wife (1) | Married (1) | Affair (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Joint Account (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | New York (1) | Self-talk (1) | Advice (1) | Blame (1) | Specialist (1) | Dogs (1) | Mental Health (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | Relocation (1) | Change (1) | New York State (1) | Control (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Equality (1) | Balance (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Living Together (1) | Power (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Summer (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Payments (1) | Extremes (1) | Fall (1) | Marriage (1) | House (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Resolution (1) | Equity (1) | Scarcity (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | But (1) | Fiancé (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Apologizing (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Meditate (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Court Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Career Change (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Returning To The Workforce (1) | Social Security Assets In Divorce (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Significant Other (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | Attitudes (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | MediationSession (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Dishonest (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Spouses (1) | Work Stress (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Patience (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Time To Process (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Lawyer (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | PostNup (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Seller (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Refinance (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Buyer (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Power Of Regret (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.