914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  . 

So, You’ve Agreed Upon 50/50 Parenting — Part I

July 30, 2020  | 
Happy child girl with hands thumbs up

{3 minutes to read} Reaching the agreement that you both want to share substantially equal time with your children is clearly a very meaningful decision, but it isn’t the only decision you will need to agree upon in terms of your parenting plan. There are many options in terms of parenting schedules that you will need to consider, and that can be a source of conflict.

There is no “right” schedule, as it all depends on your children, their developmental capabilities, their activities, their commitments, and your work schedules. As always, what must be paramount is what is best for your children, and not what your research may have indicated is the best schedule, or what may have worked for other parents you know.

These are some schedules that you can consider:

One Week With Each Parent

This could be helpful for older children who want consistency, or if transitions between the parents are problematic. But it has an obvious drawback in terms of the children being away from each parent for a long period of time. If you are considering this, you may also want to consider some mid-week access with the other parent to help the children feel connected with both parents.

3-4-4-3 Schedule

This could be a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday overnight with parent A; then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday overnight with Parent B; then Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday overnight with Parent A; and then Thursday, Friday, Saturday overnight with Parent B.
This permits more parental access with each parent on a regular basis than the weekly access schedule and minimizes transitions to an extent, but it results in: 
 
  1. Neither parent ever having a full weekend with the children; or
  2. One parent having the majority of the weekend time every week.

2-2-3 Schedule

This typically would be Monday, Tuesday with Parent A; Wednesday, Thursday with Parent B; Friday, Saturday, Sunday with Parent A; then Monday, Tuesday with Parent B; Wednesday, Thursday with Parent A; Friday, Saturday, Sunday with Parent B.
 
This gives alternate weekends to each parent, but it could be confusing for some children and will require a lot of coordination between the parents. 
 

2-2-5-5 Schedule

This typically would be Monday, Tuesday with Parent A; Wednesday, Thursday with Parent B; Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday with Parent A; Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday with Parent B.
This also gives alternate weekends with each parent, but the five days away from the other parent, again, can be a long time for some children. 
 

Keeping in mind that you are choosing these schedules in the abstract, it’s important that you provide for reviews of the schedule and be cognizant of whether or not your well-intentioned schedule is working out for the children. You should also provide for a process to resolve a dispute if one of you thinks that the schedule is working and the other does not.

In my next post, I’ll address some other considerations for equal parenting plans, no matter which schedule you choose. 

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments
Search
Topics
Mediation (74) | Divorce (72) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Conflict (9) | Litigation (8) | Child Support (8) | Separation Agreement (7) | Consultation (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Separation (5) | Communication (5) | Finances (4) | Settlement (4) | Attorney (4) | Parenting (4) | Children (4) | Family (4) | Mediation Myths (3) | Clients (3) | Marital Assets (3) | Expenses (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Equitable Distribution (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Co-Parenting (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Custody (2) | Marital Property (2) | Legislation (2) | Parenting Plan (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Pandemic (2) | Seperation (2) | Separate Property (2) | Truth (2) | Spouse (2) | Listening (2) | Compromise (2) | Informed Decisions (2) | Anger (2) | Bitterness (2) | Marital Home (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Relationships (2) | Assets (2) | Moving Forward (2) | College Expenses (2) | Apology (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Step-Children (2) | Step-Father (2) | Mediate (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Calculating Support (2) | CSSA (2) | Couples (2) | Agreement (2) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Lawyer (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Time To Process (1) | PostNup (1) | Patience (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Financial Information (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | Blended Families (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Separation Agreements (1) | Spouses (1) | Anxiety (1) | Work Stress (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Buyer (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Budgets (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Seller (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Caucus (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Court Order (1) | COVID19 (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Heard (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Divorce Agreement (1) | Separating (1) | Understood (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Guilt (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Prenup (1) | Emotions (1) | Entitlement (1) | Court Process (1) | Negotiation (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Meditate (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Financial Professional (1) | Fiancé (1) | But (1) | Apologizing (1) | Dishonest (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Dogs (1) | Agreements (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Budget (1) | New York (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Blame (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | Living Together (1) | Living Apart (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Kids (1) | School Year (1) | Power (1) | Resolution (1) | Scarcity (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Grandparents (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Equality (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Consulting Attorney (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Halloween (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | House (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | New York State (1) | Control (1) | Balance (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Change (1) | Equity (1) | Mental Health (1) | Specialist (1) | Relocation (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Therapy (1) | Divorce Coach (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Joint Account (1) | Dreaming (1) | Intervention (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Married (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Public Trust (1) | Lies (1) | Affair (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Husband (1) | Wife (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Parents (1) | Contribution (1) | College (1) | Responsibility (1) | Unemployment (1) | Fall (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Nesting (1) | Compassion (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Joint Decision Making (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Married Couples (1) | Commingling (1) | Transmutation (1) | Little White Lies (1) |
Connect

Online Mediation Available

In response to COVID-19 I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.