914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Why Would I Need a Coach to Get a Divorce?

November 24, 2015  | 

{3:00 minutes to read}   

Previously, I wrote about the benefit to parents in using a child specialist.  In this post, I am writing about the benefits to clients in using a divorce coach in certain situations.

It does sound odd to think that someone needs a coach to get a divorce.  At first blush it can bring up the wholly inappropriate picture of someone on the sidelines cheering you on as you prepare to end your marriage. That is most definitely not the role of a divorce coach.

A divorce coach is a mental health professional who has training and experience in working with couples who are going through the process of separation and divorce.

With all clients, I raise the idea of a divorce coach in my initial consultation with prospective mediation clients.  At this time, I provide an explanation of all of the professionals who are available to assist them in making good decisions (attorneys, financial professionals, mental health professionals, appraisers and the like).

With certain clients, if I see that one or both are persistently reacting to triggers that lead to unproductive meetings and that my interventions to get them back on track are not working, I will raise the idea that our meetings seem to be getting bogged down and ask if one or both would consider engaging a divorce coach.

The first thing clients usually say if I suggest how they could benefit from this, is that they already have a therapist.  I explain this is not therapy in that sense.  Divorce coaching is not a long term process and instead is a highly focused meeting or meetings to address how a person can get through the process of separating more easily and be a better participant in a mediation.  Some of the benefits are:

  • To manage and contain highly charged emotions;

  • To address a specific situation like an affair;

  • To recognize triggers that can derail a meeting and develop a strategy to avoid reacting to it;

  • To provide closure at the end of a mediation to address the past and what will be a different future.

Certainly, most clients do not need to involve a divorce coach, but in those situations where clients can’t seem to get beyond the past, the divorce coach can help them refocus and move forward.  Although there is an additional fee in retaining another professional, it makes the mediation more productive, which saves money in the long run.

Would you consider working with a divorce coach? Please feel free to leave a comment in the box below.
Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments

Search
Topics
Mediation (142) | Divorce (132) | Separation (49) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Litigation (11) | Communication (11) | Separation Agreement (10) | Conflict (10) | Co-Parenting (8) | Parenting (7) | Attorney (7) | Prenup (7) | Consultation (7) | Marital Home (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Parenting Plan (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Expenses (4) | CSSA (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Agreement (4) | Family (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Child Support Standards Act (4) | Finances (4) | Separate Property (4) | Marital Property (4) | Settlement (4) | Relationships (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Spousal Trust (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Listening (3) | Family Court (3) | Clients (3) | Emotions (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Negotiation (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Responsibility (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Divorce Coach (3) | Compromise (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Blended Families (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Apology (2) | Bitterness (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Step-Children (2) | Fairness (2) | Step-Father (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Selling The Marital Home (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | College Expenses (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Entitlement (2) | CDFA (2) | Will (2) | Law Professionals (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Spouse (2) | Budgets (2) | Humanity (2) | Grace (2) | Estate (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Inheritance (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Trust Issues (2) | Parent Coordinator (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Change (2) | Anxiety (2) | Budget (2) | Truth (2) | Custody (2) | Anger (2) | Attitude (2) | Mediate (2) | Pandemic (2) | Legislation (2) | Seperation (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Agreements (2) | Guilt (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Spousal Support (2) | Couples (2) | Commissions (1) | Income Level (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Personality (1) | Bonuses (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Opposites (1) | Coparenting (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | CoParenting (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | ADR (1) | Perspective (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | Empowerment (1) | Judge (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Pension (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Advocacy (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Older Adults (1) | Eldercare (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Expectations (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Intention (1) | Feelings (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | A Neutral (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Custody Determination (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Pension Plans (1) | COVID 19 (1) | An Advocate (1) | Thrive (1) | Retirement (1) | Pensions (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Depression (1) | Languish (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Communicating (1) | Family Mediations (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Transition Day (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Court (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Hope (1) | Introducing Significant Others (1) | Significant Others (1) | Mediation Caucus (1) | Speak Up (1) | Spousal Support Payments (1) | Financial Impropriety (1) | Mediation Friendly Attorney (1) | Review Attorney (1) | Unfaithful Spouse (1) | Spousal Infidelity (1) | Concession (1) | Lowest Acceptable Offer (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Post Divorce Budgets (1) | Financial Professionals (1) | Real Estate And Divorce (1) | Joint Ownership Post Divorce (1) | Active Listening (1) | New York Divorce Law (1) | Regrets (1) | Regrets In Life (1) | Needs And Interests (1) | Compromise In Agreements (1) | Child-focused (1) | Objective Standards (1) | Well-being (1) | Child Wellbeing (1) | Regret Avoidance (1) | Fault Assessment (1) | Realty Testing (1) | Decision Making (1) | Fairness Evaluation (1) | Divorce Agreements (1) | Separate Living Without Divorce (1) | Daniel Pink (1) | Holding On To Regrets (1) | Biggest Regrets In Life (1) | Rights Of Inheritance (1) | New Year Resolutions (1) | Objective Standards In Mediation (1) | Impartiality (1) | Short-term Marriage Divorce (1) | Learning From The Past (1) | Buyout (1) | Inflation (1) | Unmarried (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | File A Petition (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Being Heard (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Collaboration (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Contentment (1) | Disagreements (1) | Ideas (1) | Beliefs (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Kindness (1) | Happiness (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Being Understood (1) | Commitment (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Consulting (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | Meditation (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Real Estate (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Support Connection (1) | Cancer (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Postnup (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Support (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Compassion (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Married Couples (1) | Commingling (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Fall (1) | Conflicy (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Affair (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Wife (1) | Husband (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Joint Account (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Specialist (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Relocation (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Self Determination (1) | Self-determination (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Grandparents (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | Scarcity (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | New York (1) | Married (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Holiday Co-Parenting (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Fiancé (1) | Meditate (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Apologizing (1) | But (1) | Social Security Assets In Divorce (1) | Returning To The Workforce (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Caucus (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Separating (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Career Change (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | MediationSession (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Dishonest (1) | Spouses (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Perfection (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Work Stress (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | Lawyer (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Court Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Patience (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Buyer (1) | Seller (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Co-parenting (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.