914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+
Mediation Blog

January 5, 2015 - [Time to Read: 4.1 mins] At the initial consultation, clients often express concern that within the process of mediation they may not “get a good deal.” They wonder if they will be able to mediate because they do not have the same financial expertise as the other party, or perhaps the other party is more educated or has more business savvy. Whether these feelings are real or perceived, they can be a barrier to the clients’ ability to feel comfortable w [...]

December 22, 2014 - In my last blog, I wrote about how a mediation can begin if one spouse isn’t quite as prepared to divorce as the other party. Now, I would like to address what happens when those feelings do not diminish as the mediation progresses. The practical effect in a mediation when one party is reluctant to divorce can be that the reluctant party continually expresses blame and fault against the other party. They may say things like “I didn’t want this, so why [...]

December 10, 2014 - It’s rare in my practice for both parties to be in the same frame of mind about getting a divorce. Most often, one person is more prepared for the process and the separation, while the other party may not even have come to terms with the concept that the marriage will come to an end. When I used to litigate, you needed grounds for divorce. If only one person wanted the divorce but had no grounds, then he or she would either have to stay married or be prepared to m [...]

November 26, 2014 - As much as I try, it’s almost impossible to simply enjoy a holiday for itself. We are bombarded around the clock with holiday movies and television commercials showing elaborate and bountiful meals around a table full of happy family and friends.  All of the homes have decorations that could rival those found in major department stores. It’s hard not to expect that picture perfect holiday. If you’re going through a divorce and this is your first h [...]

November 11, 2014 - There are so many issues that a divorcing couple must face: How to tell the children Where will each live Whether or not they can afford to live separately Starting mediation can easily add to the apprehension, yet beginning mediation can actually be a positive step toward gaining control of your changing circumstances because the timetable, the agenda and of course, the outcome, are completely up to the two of you. There are concrete issues that need to be addr [...]

October 28, 2014 - I love Halloween, and I love being scared. Scary can be fun when it’s within your control, like I am with my Halloween decorations. A five-foot replica of Frankenstein’s monster, which dances to the Monster Mash A fake graveyard in front of my house, with silly inscriptions on the stones Zombie garden gnomes A full-size skeleton sitting in a chair on the porch, wearing a baseball cap backwards, a college sweatshirt and sweat pants It's all more ridic [...]

October 14, 2014 - The definitions of anger and bitterness are similar: Anger: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Bitterness: anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment. They may be similar, but to me, they are worlds apart. I see anger as something that is of relatively short duration; a totally human and appropriate response to someone hurting you, or someone you love. Something happens, you get angry, you hopefully express that anger constr [...]

October 1, 2014 - How does the Child Support Standards Act (“CSSA”) work in mediation? First, you will need to discuss whether or not you are going to apply or opt out of the CSSA. To do that, you need to know what the child support figure would be if the statute were applied. Your mediator can explain the computation based upon the combined income of you and your spouse. What income figure should be used? If one of you is unemployed or underemployed by choice, or the incom [...]

September 16, 2014 - I remember when the Child Support Standards Act (“CSSA”) was adopted in New York in 1989. It was a radical departure from how child support had been determined in the past, and not all matrimonial attorneys welcomed it with open arms. There were many predictions of disastrous results, but the statute soon came to be accepted. How Does It Work? Combine both parents’ incomes up to the statutory “cap,” which in 2014 is $141,000. Apply the [...]

September 3, 2014 - It’s not unusual for couples to discuss and agree upon an outline for a parenting plan before they begin mediation. When this happens, the mediator’s job is to talk to them about the practical effects of their agreement. Overnights: Both parents may believe that overnights during the week for the non-custodial parent would be good for the children. Reality dictates that you discuss if the children can get to school on time and have all of the things needed f [...]

June 12, 2014 - I remember when the CSSA was adopted in New York in 1989. It was a radical departure from how child support had been determined in the past, and not all matrimonial attorneys welcomed it with open arms. There were many predictions of disastrous results, but the statute soon came to be accepted and for good reason. While it is not perfect, it does provide a starting point and some certainty to support across the state. The statute provides what is considered to be the &l [...]

February 11, 2014 - One of the things that I emphasize with clients is that an important part of the mediation process is to make sure that the agreement is durable, meaning that the agreement will work as well for you in practice as it sounds in theory. Of course, you cannot anticipate each and every possible circumstance that might happen in the future, but we do try to address as many contingencies as possible. I will be addressing future modifications to support payments in another pos [...]

Search
Topics
Mediation (85) | Divorce (79) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (12) | Conflict (9) | Litigation (8) | Child Support (8) | Separation Agreement (7) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Communication (6) | Consultation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Separation (5) | Co-Parenting (5) | Parenting Plan (5) | Children (4) | Settlement (4) | Finances (4) | Parenting (4) | Family (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Marital Assets (4) | Attorney (4) | Separate Property (3) | Emotions (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Clients (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Expenses (3) | Agreement (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | College Expenses (2) | Pandemic (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Legislation (2) | Custody (2) | Mediate (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Truth (2) | Assets (2) | Spouse (2) | Apology (2) | Listening (2) | Compromise (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Informed Decisions (2) | Seperation (2) | Relationships (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Marital Property (2) | Budgets (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Marital Home (2) | CSSA (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Anger (2) | Bitterness (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Step-Father (2) | Step-Children (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Anxiety (2) | Couples (2) | Court Order (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Seller (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Buyer (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Negotiation (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Lawyer (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Social Distancing (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Process (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | Financial Information (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (1) | Fiancé (1) | But (1) | Apologizing (1) | Prenup (1) | PostNup (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Time To Process (1) | Patience (1) | Meditate (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Entitlement (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Communicating (1) | Eldercare (1) | Older Adults (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Expectations (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Feelings (1) | Intention (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Older Parents (1) | Facial Expression (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Languish (1) | Depression (1) | Thrive (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | COVID 19 (1) | Pension Plans (1) | Retirement (1) | Pensions (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Heard (1) | Caucus (1) | Understood (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Guilt (1) | Separating (1) | Divorce Agreement (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Refinance (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Transition Day (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Financial Professional (1) | An Advocate (1) | A Neutral (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Custody Determination (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Affair (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Resolution (1) | Budget (1) | Agreements (1) | Dogs (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Living Together (1) | Living Apart (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Grandparents (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Abundance (1) | Scarcity (1) | Marriage (1) | Self-talk (1) | Summer (1) | Kids (1) | School Year (1) | Power (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Fall (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Unemployment (1) | Responsibility (1) | Moving On (1) | New York (1) | Advice (1) | Parents (1) | House (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Halloween (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Consulting Attorney (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Equity (1) | Blame (1) | Mental Health (1) | Specialist (1) | Relocation (1) | Change (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Self-determination (1) | Self Determination (1) | New York State (1) | Control (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Year In Review (1) | 2015 (1) | Disclosure (1) | Contribution (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Perfection (1) | Wife (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Married (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Public Trust (1) | Lies (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Dishonest (1) | Spouses (1) | Separation Agreements (1) | Work Stress (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Financial Situation (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | Blended Families (1) | Significant Other (1) | Attitudes (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Husband (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | College (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Nesting (1) | Compassion (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Married Couples (1) | Commingling (1) | Transmutation (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Joint Decision Making (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Intervention (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Joint Account (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Divorce Coach (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Therapy (1) | Dreaming (1) | Honest Conversation (1) |
Connect
Attorney Advertising

The contents of this editorial should not be considered legal advice. The information provided in this editorial is intended to be general information and is not intended to be a substitute for a consultation with an attorney. Each case and situation is different and must be handled based upon the specific facts and circumstances unique to that case. For specific answers to questions on an individual case, it is best to consult with an attorney. Attorney Advertising

Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

In response to COVID-19 I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.