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Mediation Blog

Topic: Agreement | 89 post(s).

May 4, 2022 -   While marriage is the usual path when two people are in love and want to live together, some couples decide to live together without being married and without bothering to get a cohabitation agreement. This may be all well and good until it isn’t. Without the Agreement, when the couple breaks up or one party dies, there can be a slew of problems around the joint property acquired during the relationship. If you would like more information about mediation, [...]

April 20, 2022 - {3 minutes to read} When I meet with clients who will have difficulty in making joint decisions about their children after the Separation Agreement is signed, the first thing we do is discuss a structure that will help them. If their level of conflict is so high that even after such a process, they STILL will be in conflict, we will discuss if they could agree to one parent making the final decisions. Or having one parent make final decisions regarding education issues [...]

February 16, 2022 -   I became intrigued with the idea of grace after hearing an interview with Kirsten Powers about her book Saving Grace. A lot of what she said and wrote in the book really resonated with me. Especially in the last several years — we've been treating people with whom we disagree in terms of beliefs and ideas, not only with a lack of grace but with a lack of humanity. We just see them as the sum total of their ideas, as opposed to individuals with whom we may [...]

December 16, 2021 - {4 minutes to read} The most typical way a pension is divided would be through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO provides that, at retirement, the marital portion of the pension will be divided in the way that you have agreed upon in your Separation Agreement, usually 50%. The marital portion is the part that accumulated during the marriage. But you’re in mediation, so you don’t have to do what is typically done. Especially if the QDRO does [...]

August 12, 2021 -   There are many special occasions to share in your life and the lives of your children. When divorcing, however, those occasions can become mini-battlegrounds, causing discomfort to visitors and your children. If you have children, you will be co-parenting for life. In mediation, we can build in ways to handle conflicts as the lives of you and your children move forward. [...]

May 18, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} The idea of a prenuptial agreement is familiar to most people — an agreement that a couple can enter into before their marriage that can provide how property and debt will be distributed in the event of death or a divorce. It can also provide for paying or waiving spousal support. But what exactly is a postnuptial agreement, and why would anyone want one? A postnuptial agreement is an agreement that a married couple can create to do the very th [...]

April 30, 2021 - {4 minutes to read} I often receive phone calls from potential clients telling me that they have settled everything and just want me to write up their agreement. When faced with this request, I explain that this is not what I do and why mediation would still be important even if they have discussed and agreed upon terms.  Terms that were Not Addressed Even if there are no minor children, it’s difficult to navigate through all of the terms that need to be con [...]

April 7, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} I understand that there are some mediators in favor of mediation via email. Those that I have encountered are conducting commercial or other multi-party mediations. The positive aspects include:  easier scheduling; parties from other states, or even countries, can participate without travel or time zone constraints; parties can take time to draft an appropriate and more reasoned response; and parties can easily find information from prior & [...]

March 24, 2021 - My previous two videos on Child Inclusive Mediation discussed the child interview and the parent meeting. In this video, we look at the parenting plan that can be created as a result of the issues and concerns raised by the child consultant’s interview of the children. This plan is not a legal document, but an agreement between the parents in their own language which they can start to use immediately.   [...]

September 30, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} I know that it has been a constant refrain of mine that budgets are vital in mediation, but I learned how truly indispensable they can be during a recent one. The couple were both high-wage earners, and one parent was agreed upon to be the primary residential parent. The non-residential parent proposed a different type of child support payment in which, rather than payment of the standard child support that would be calculated under NYs Child Support [...]

August 12, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} Now that you have decided on the access schedule you will use in your equal parenting plan, there are some other terms that you might want to include in your agreement. Tweaks to the On-Duty Parent Responsibilities Typically, the on-duty parent is responsible for everything having to do with the children during their access time. But, you may want to modify that in some circumstances:  If you have children with different extracurricular acti [...]

July 30, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} Reaching the agreement that you both want to share substantially equal time with your children is clearly a very meaningful decision, but it isn’t the only decision you will need to agree upon in terms of your parenting plan. There are many options in terms of parenting schedules that you will need to consider, and that can be a source of conflict. There is no “right” schedule, as it all depends on your children, their developmental [...]

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