December 13, 2022 -   A prenuptial agreement isn't in itself fair or unfair — It depends on what the terms are. There are two ways to address the issue of fairness, either through attorney negotiation or mediation. Throughout my series on prenups, I’ve suggested that mediation is the best process for this type of discussion, especially in terms of whether or not you find the terms to be fair. [...]

March 15, 2022 - In a matrimonial consultation, the attorney will give a lot of legal advice and information in a very lengthy meeting. My initial consultations are limited to a half-hour and all we do is talk about the process of mediation. In that meeting, the parties meet me and learn about how mediation works. Most people who call me are not familiar with mediation, and at such an emotionally fraught time in their lives, I can't imagine that they would want to embark upon a process [...]

February 2, 2022 - No one can tell you how long your divorce will take. If you are litigating, you are at the mercy of your attorney’s schedule, your spouse’s attorney’s schedule, the judge’s timetable and the court’s agenda. This can increase the level of anxiety and uncertainty that you feel. In mediation, the timetable is up to you and your spouse. [...]

October 11, 2021 -   When you involve a consulting attorney, you want one who is a proponent of mediation. One who will help you acquire the skills and tools to advocate for yourself. The discussion in mediation can then be more mutual and result in terms that are more reasonable. In mediation, parties are empowered by making their own decisions and being an advocate for themselves. [...]

August 26, 2021 -   If your spouse has some financial or legal knowledge that you don't, you may feel at a disadvantage in mediation. But you don’t have to give up all of the benefits of mediation just because of your spouse’s profession. The answer is to seek professionals who can help you to become empowered and feel comfortable in mediation, so you can properly advocate for yourself, and make the best decisions you can.     [...]

May 18, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} The idea of a prenuptial agreement is familiar to most people — an agreement that a couple can enter into before their marriage that can provide how property and debt will be distributed in the event of death or a divorce. It can also provide for paying or waiving spousal support. But what exactly is a postnuptial agreement, and why would anyone want one? A postnuptial agreement is an agreement that a married couple can create to do the very th [...]

September 16, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} In an earlier post, I described the benefits of using a financial professional who acts as a neutral in mediation, but sometimes that may not work for you. Here are some factors to consider when deciding which will be best in your case. An Advocate If you choose to have the financial person be an advocate, they would be acting in the same way that an attorney would act on your behalf — looking out for your interests and how to achieve the bes [...]

April 21, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} As I’m writing this on March 30, 2020, the Courts in New York State are open only for emergency relief, such as family offenses/orders of protection and child protective matters. Parents who are having non-emergency custody disputes are unable to access courts at this time to resolve their dispute. In an article in the New York Law Journal, Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, the Statewide Coordinating Judge for Matrimonial Cases, was praised on two divers [...]

March 13, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} Are all family disputes the same? Of course not. Divorce mediation is different from mediation involving the contest or interpretation of the provisions of a Will or Trust Agreement. But clearly, they have similarities: Ongoing Relationships While some familial relationships may have always been troubled, it’s likely that at some time, the parties probably got along well. And they may need to continue to get along for the sake of attending ext [...]

January 22, 2020 - There are 14 factors that are used by courts and attorneys to determine an equitable distribution of marital assets. In mediation, the couple makes these determinations together. Taking the time to review the factors, however, you may find one that resonates with you, and allows you to make a proposal to your spouse that will take into consideration its relevance to you and explain why you think you should get the property distribution that you are proposing in your me [...]

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November 26, 2019 - {4 minutes to read}  You and your fiancé have discussed the terms that you would want in your prenuptial agreement. You seem to be in agreement, so you feel that there is nothing to mediate and don’t see the need for a mediator when you could just have your lawyer draft the agreement and your fiancé can have an attorney review it. So, why involve a third professional and incur an additional fee when nothing is really in dispute? You May Not Have [...]