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Mediation Blog

Topic: But | 134 post(s).

June 30, 2020 -   Though the end of year holidays may be long over when this video is published, those holidays prompted my discussion of this topic for divorced couples. Sharing the kids during all of the holidays throughout the year is often a difficult subject to tackle, but there are some practical ways to work out the logistics so that your kids will have good memories of spending holiday time with their parents.  [...]

June 3, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} I recently read an article in the New York Times by Dhruv Khullar, MD, in which he wrote about the possible detrimental health effects of feeling regret. Dr. Khullar believes that doctors often ignore the toll that regret can have on someone: “We often don’t explore the role regret might be playing in the distress many patients and families experience, or acknowledge it when it’s clear that it is contributing to their pain.” [...]

May 20, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, it’s not surprising that I work with many couples who experience a lack of communication. Since that lack of communication is now being coupled with spending an inordinate amount of time with your spouse during the pandemic, you may consider this an opportunity to improve your communication. In Listening During a Pandemic, Kate Murphy writes that while a pandemic has the likelihood of causing an increase in divorce, it c [...]

April 21, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} As I’m writing this on March 30, 2020, the Courts in New York State are open only for emergency relief, such as family offenses/orders of protection and child protective matters. Parents who are having non-emergency custody disputes are unable to access courts at this time to resolve their dispute. In an article in the New York Law Journal, Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, the Statewide Coordinating Judge for Matrimonial Cases, was praised on two divers [...]

April 2, 2020 - {7 minutes to read}  As is the same for all of us now, we are struggling to maintain a sense of calm, not just for ourselves but for our families. Clearly, this would be the perfect time to meditate, but the craziness of the moment has disrupted my routine and my practice—making the thing that would help feel just too hard to do right now. Thankfully, my meditation teacher, Cheryl Brause, has written this blog providing practical advice to help keep all of us [...]

March 25, 2020 - Mediation may not be appropriate for everybody but could be the right process for you. Unfortunately, many people dismiss it out of hand, based upon some misconceptions about what mediation is or isn’t. This video tries to dispel some of the most common myths to help you decide if mediation is right for you. [...]

March 13, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} Are all family disputes the same? Of course not. Divorce mediation is different from mediation involving the contest or interpretation of the provisions of a Will or Trust Agreement. But clearly, they have similarities: Ongoing Relationships While some familial relationships may have always been troubled, it’s likely that at some time, the parties probably got along well. And they may need to continue to get along for the sake of attending ext [...]

February 20, 2020 - In this video, the last of the series on Equitable Distribution, we look at the implications of the statute to parties in mediation. It is important for clients to know what the law provides, and what is likely to happen in Court, whether they are in mediation or not. Then, when in mediation, they can make informed decisions as to whether to apply or waive the provisions of Equitable Distribution. [...]

February 5, 2020 -   In my last video, I mentioned marital property as a part of the discussion of Equitable Distribution. In this video, I want to explain the difference between assets that are separate property and those that are considered marital property. [...]

January 22, 2020 - There are 14 factors that are used by courts and attorneys to determine an equitable distribution of marital assets. In mediation, the couple makes these determinations together. Taking the time to review the factors, however, you may find one that resonates with you, and allows you to make a proposal to your spouse that will take into consideration its relevance to you and explain why you think you should get the property distribution that you are proposing in your me [...]

January 8, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} When I’m being mindful of what I’m saying, I can stop myself from using the word “but” after I’ve just apologized to someone. I recognize how off-putting that can be to the person to whom I’ve just apologized, and that it effectively negates everything that I said before the but. When I really don’t believe I’m at fault, though, I may very well end up with an apology followed by “but I didn’ [...]

December 10, 2019 - {4 minutes to read}  In other posts, I’ve often touted the benefits of working with a financial professional, either together or separately, during a couple’s divorce mediation. In this post, I want to summarize the circumstances under which I think a mediation would progress most easily, and that is if both spouses worked with a financial professional who acts as a neutral. While the training and expertise of the financial professionals would be the sa [...]

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