July 11, 2025 -   There is a common misconception that ending a marriage signifies failure. From her extensive experience with clients and friends, Clare emphasizes that internalizing feelings of failure can hinder your ability to progress healthily. She encourages reflecting on behaviors during the marriage, recognizing areas for personal growth, and seeking support from professionals and friends. For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my webs [...]

March 14, 2024 -   In this video, Clare discusses why, even when asked, she refrains from providing a subjective judgment on whether a mediation agreement is fair. She emphasizes that the concept of fairness is highly subjective, and underscores the importance of impartiality and self-determination in mediation, stating that her opinion should not hold more weight than the clients' perspectives.If you would like more information about mediation, prenups, and family law, check out [...]

May 1, 2023 -   In this video, I address whether guilt belongs in divorce mediation. Consider several factors: thoroughly evaluating the agreement and its consequences, seeking objective advice to assess fault accurately, and projecting future feelings to avoid potential regrets. Clients ultimately make their own decisions in mediation but are advised to do so with awareness and understanding. If you would like more information about mediation, prenups, and family law, check [...]

June 8, 2022 -   In a recent video, available on my website, I described what, in addition to having a signed separation agreement, a successful mediation would look like. In this follow up video, I talk about three things clients who experience those positive outcomes have in common. After watching the video, If you think that mediation is the process for you, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com, where there are many more articles and blogs on all things divorc [...]

April 20, 2022 - {3 minutes to read} When I meet with clients who will have difficulty in making joint decisions about their children after the Separation Agreement is signed, the first thing we do is discuss a structure that will help them. If their level of conflict is so high that even after such a process, they STILL will be in conflict, we will discuss if they could agree to one parent making the final decisions. Or having one parent make final decisions regarding education issues [...]

April 6, 2022 -   I remember when I used to represent clients in adversarial settings long ago, I would have some clients who would win in the sense that they got what they wanted but they weren't happy. I also had some clients who settled, and they weren't too happy, either. Now, I am definitely not saying that all mediation clients are happy. Happiness is a tough concept when you're talking about the end of a relationship but I often see a level of contentment in mediation cli [...]

December 2, 2021 -   Family Court Mediation is a topic I’ve never spoken about, but I have been working with clients in Family Court recently. Family Court is a very busy court and takes many months and years to get through the process. Mediation is a much more streamlined process. First, mediate, but if you are already involved in Family Court ask about mediation and see if you can get into the Family Court Presumptive ADR Program.   [...]

April 30, 2021 - {4 minutes to read} I often receive phone calls from potential clients telling me that they have settled everything and just want me to write up their agreement. When faced with this request, I explain that this is not what I do and why mediation would still be important even if they have discussed and agreed upon terms.  Terms that were Not Addressed Even if there are no minor children, it’s difficult to navigate through all of the terms that need to be con [...]

April 7, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} I understand that there are some mediators in favor of mediation via email. Those that I have encountered are conducting commercial or other multi-party mediations. The positive aspects include:  easier scheduling; parties from other states, or even countries, can participate without travel or time zone constraints; parties can take time to draft an appropriate and more reasoned response; and parties can easily find information from prior & [...]

September 30, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} I know that it has been a constant refrain of mine that budgets are vital in mediation, but I learned how truly indispensable they can be during a recent one. The couple were both high-wage earners, and one parent was agreed upon to be the primary residential parent. The non-residential parent proposed a different type of child support payment in which, rather than payment of the standard child support that would be calculated under NYs Child Support [...]

September 16, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} In an earlier post, I described the benefits of using a financial professional who acts as a neutral in mediation, but sometimes that may not work for you. Here are some factors to consider when deciding which will be best in your case. An Advocate If you choose to have the financial person be an advocate, they would be acting in the same way that an attorney would act on your behalf — looking out for your interests and how to achieve the bes [...]

July 16, 2020 - {3 minutes to read} Since New York on PAUSE went into effect, parties have been mediating virtually — either online or by phone, and this may even continue as businesses begin to reopen. I would like to share with you some of the differences that I’ve noticed in my mediation meetings via Zoom. Technical Difficulties We all may be subject to an unstable internet connection and noisy distractions from dogs or others in your household. Your mediator should let [...]