November 18, 2021 -   Couples with opposite personality traits may thrive as one’s style is countered by the opposite style. When they divorce, the characteristics that attracted them to one another can now seem annoying and negative. Discussing between yourselves can lead to fights, but mediation can allow you to frame your differences in more positive ways. [...]

April 21, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} As I’m writing this on March 30, 2020, the Courts in New York State are open only for emergency relief, such as family offenses/orders of protection and child protective matters. Parents who are having non-emergency custody disputes are unable to access courts at this time to resolve their dispute. In an article in the New York Law Journal, Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, the Statewide Coordinating Judge for Matrimonial Cases, was praised on two divers [...]

March 12, 2019 - {4:00 minutes to read} In his book Lying, Sam Harris explains how a seminar he took as an undergraduate led him on a path to believe that any lying, even what most may deem “a little white lie,” is harmful. The seminar was called The Ethical Analyst, and it focused on the question “Is it wrong to lie?” In the course, he learned that lies damage personal relationships and violate the public trust, whether they are big or small. The book caused me [...]

November 30, 2018 - {3:00 minutes to read} It’s an admonition that many a Hallmark holiday movie has been based upon  ---    "Be Careful What You Wish For." The usual plot is that someone wakes up in the life she always dreamed about, only to find out that the life she had was so much better. In the end, she gets to go back to that wonderful life she never fully appreciated and everything is grand after all. It would be nice if we got those chances in real life, [...]

December 8, 2015 - {2:42 minutes to read} Around this time of year, most people are considering resolutions for the new year. I never did that because I feel if you want to change something to be more positive, why wait? I prefer to reinvent myself or incorporate changes as they come to mind and when I can commit to them, be it on a Tuesday in March or the last week in December. I’m not without end of the year rituals though. Mine are just in terms of the past rather than the future [...]

August 20, 2015 - {3 minutes to read}  It’s rare that I don’t have a mediation in which at least one of the participants will say “I just want to do what’s fair.” I think that’s a reasonable statement and that they wholeheartedly mean it when they say it. But what does that really mean? Is It Fair Under the Law? Sometimes clients want to know if it is fair under the law. This assumes that the application of the law is inherently fair, which I don [...]

March 31, 2015 - {2:50 minutes to read} I am fortunate enough to say that I am not a child of divorce. Since I don’t have that first-hand experience, I have strived, as most mediators do, to learn about the impact of divorce on children and how that can be ameliorated. In mediation, the best interest of the children is paramount. The Children Even when the parents are well intentioned and have the admittedly oxymoronic “good divorce,” there is still a devastating affe [...]

March 17, 2015 - {3:30 minutes to read} . Do we choose our profession because of our basic personality, or does our profession cause us to form a certain personality trait? I've always had a “never say die” kind of attitude. I would always think that I could fix it or make it better, be it a relationship or a friend who was upset. I could fix just about anything that had gone awry. A basic problem solver. This attitude wasn't always to my advantage when it came to personal [...]