New York courts have introduced a new, easier way for couples to get divorced without attorneys: It’s called an Uncontested Joint Divorce. While a separation agreement isn't required to file, I strongly recommend creating one. A mediated separation agreement enables more detailed planning regarding parenting, support, and asset division.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.

One of the most important decisions you’ll make during a divorce is choosing the right mediator. In New York, mediators are not licensed or certified by the state, so it’s entirely up to you to determine whether a mediator is truly qualified. Here are some key questions to ask to ensure you're working with someone competent and committed to best practices.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.

When choosing a divorce mediator, it’s important to know whether you want someone facilitative or directive. Knowing which type is right for you and your family is important. A facilitative mediator focuses on your needs and interests, while a directive mediator focuses more on the law and how it applies to your case.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.

In mediation consultations, people often express common concerns. Their questions reflect understandable worries about wasting time and money, being at a disadvantage, or feeling that cooperation is impossible. Asking these questions during a consultation helps clarify whether mediation is the right path and whether the mediator is a good fit.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, please visit my website at ClarePiroMediation.com.

If you and your spouse decide to mediate your divorce, there are several ways to find a mediator. Most clients find mediators through referrals. If you prefer not to ask for referrals, you can search online for a “divorce mediator near me” and review websites together. No matter how you find a mediator, it’s important to schedule a consultation before making your choice. 

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, please visit my website at ClarePiroMediation.com.

If your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t, it’s natural to feel hurt, angry, or resentful. In mediation, it’s essential to express your feelings in a constructive manner, such as explaining how the divorce affects you and what support you need to move forward, including more time or financial assistance to find a job or obtain training. Presenting your needs this way can lead to better outcomes.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, please visit my website at www.ClarePiroMediation.com.

In this article, Clare shares a humorous but poignant reflection inspired by a parody calendar caption about resentment. She observes that resentment is common in divorcing couples, especially when one wants to leave the marriage and the other does not. However, she explains that the law doesn’t penalize someone for asking for a divorce, and using resentment as a negotiating tactic in mediation can backfire.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.

This video highlights the negative impact of using "but" in apologies and discussions. When someone sincerely apologizes, then adds a justification, it can make the apology feel insincere. Avoiding "but" fosters more productive conversations and better outcomes. Start with apologies and expand this mindful approach to other discussions.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.

If your divorce mediation is on pause because your spouse needs time to process the separation, here are steps to ensure a timely return. First, set a firm date to resume mediation after the pause and stick to it. Second, consider whether to help your spouse with housing or budgeting based on your relationship dynamic. Lastly, acknowledge your own emotions and seek support if needed, whether through therapy, a support group, or friends. Use this time to focus on your future and prepare proposals for mediation.

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.

If you're struggling with separation during a divorce mediation pause, consider seeking additional support. If you're in therapy, ask your therapist for more resources. Look for local divorce support groups or online resources. A divorce coach can also help you navigate the process. You might even ask your spouse about couples counseling — not to reconcile, but to assist in separating. 

For more information about mediation, divorce, and family law, check out my website — ClarePiroMediation.com.