914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  .  LinkedInFacebookTwitterGoogle+

Preparing for the Initial Mediation Meeting

September 11, 2019  | 
Papers with title mediation on a table.

{3:30 minutes to read} Both the clients and the mediator want to be sure that the first meeting is productive, both because of the cost involved and because everyone wants to feel that something was accomplished and momentum is building.

That’s why at the initial consultation I suggest clients to do the following before scheduling the first meeting:

Review the checklist I provide.

To the extent that it’s productive for them to do so, I suggest that clients talk about the issues that need to be addressed in order to have a separation agreement. Anything done outside of the mediation session would save time (and money). I’ve found that most clients start the mediation with some ideas on parenting and possibly asset distribution. Support, on the other hand, is more of a hot-button issue and may be better left for the mediation.
 
I also emphasize that if the discussions aren’t productive and lead to conflict, then they shouldn’t talk substance outside of the mediation. In that case, I suggest that they read through the checklist and the brief summary of the law that I also provide, and get some ideas as to proposals that they would want to make on the relevant topics. 
 

Enter budgets into the software.

I use Family Law Software which allows clients to enter their financial information into this web-based program, which is then submitted to me. From there, I can review and then send back to them their expenses in budget form, so we can start discussions on support.
 
If the couple hasn’t already agreed upon what is happening to the family home, I suggest they hold off on doing budgets until we speak about their future housing. It only makes sense for them to do budgets based upon what their expenses will be when they physically separate — as opposed to their expenses when they are sharing a home.
 
Since budgets are a vital component in agreeing upon support, the initial entry is a small-yet-vital component to getting the discussion started. We will spend time in the mediation going over budgets, confirming expenses and discussing the appropriate income to use for each.
 
If it appears that the budgeting isn’t in the clients’ wheelhouse, we will discuss engaging a financial professional. 
 

Gather financial documents.

I provide clients with a list of financial documents that they will need to produce and exchange in the mediation. To the extent that they apply, they need to bring copies to the meeting or provide them in advance.
 
Since full and complete financial disclosure is a necessary component of mediation, it’s important to have all of this available at the beginning of the mediation. 
 

Good preparation not only helps mediation to progress effectively, but it serves to ease your concerns. Doing something constructive and practical is a good way to calm the nerves and relieve the stress that is inevitable when you begin this emotional and intimidating process.

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments
Search
Topics
Mediation (118) | Divorce (109) | Separation (26) | Divorce Mediation (19) | Mediator (13) | Child Support (11) | Litigation (11) | Communication (10) | Conflict (10) | Separation Agreement (9) | Prenup (7) | Attorney (7) | Co-Parenting (7) | Consultation (7) | Parenting (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Parenting Plan (5) | Children (5) | Assets (5) | Marital Home (5) | Marital Assets (4) | Separate Property (4) | Expenses (4) | Settlement (4) | Family (4) | Finances (4) | CSSA (4) | Agreement (4) | Equitable Distribution (4) | Divorce Coach (3) | Marital Property (3) | Responsibility (3) | Child Consultant (3) | Clients (3) | Family Court (3) | Child Inclusive Mediation (3) | Emotions (3) | Listening (3) | Estate Documents (3) | Financial Professional (3) | Relationships (3) | Prenuptial Agreement (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Divorce Agreement (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Joint Decisions (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Informed Decisions (3) | Custody (2) | Estate (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Mediate (2) | Joint Decision Making (2) | Spouse (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | CDFA (2) | New York Child Support Statute (2) | Bitterness (2) | Compromise (2) | Anger (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Law Professionals (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Attitude (2) | Apology (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Moving Forward (2) | College Expenses (2) | Pandemic (2) | Grace (2) | Blended Families (2) | Budgets (2) | Consulting Attorney (2) | Legislation (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | Seperation (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Truth (2) | Will (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Couples (2) | Separation Agreements (2) | Step-Children (2) | Step-Father (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Inheritance (2) | Anxiety (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Budget (2) | Agreements (2) | Surviving Spouse (2) | Right Of Election (2) | Humanity (2) | Feelings (1) | Pension Plans (1) | Joseph Goldstein (1) | Waiving Spousal Support (1) | Intention (1) | Languish (1) | New Year’s Resolutions (1) | COVID 19 (1) | Postnuptial Agreements (1) | Lack Of Focus (1) | Child Focused Mediation (1) | New York’s Child Support And Maintenance (1) | Thrive (1) | Mediating Emails (1) | Facial Expression (1) | Family Mediations (1) | Tone Of Voice (1) | Communicating (1) | Depression (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | Expectations (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Caucus (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | Separating (1) | Guilt (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Understood (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Pathological Liar (1) | Custody Determination (1) | Anxious Thoughts (1) | Tough Decisions (1) | Older Adults (1) | Eldercare (1) | Elder Mediation (1) | Older Parents (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | A Neutral (1) | An Advocate (1) | Pensions (1) | Transition Day (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Retirement (1) | Judge (1) | Retirement Plans (1) | Commitment (1) | Support (1) | Hope (1) | Breast Cancer (1) | Ovarian Cancer (1) | Support Connection (1) | Cancer (1) | Successful Mediations (1) | Being Understood (1) | Postnup (1) | Being Heard (1) | Divorce Needs (1) | Collaboration (1) | Decision Makers (1) | Cohabitation Agreement (1) | Cohabitating (1) | Unmarried (1) | Emotional Trauma (1) | Default Provisions (1) | Divorce Agreement Terms (1) | Parent Coordinator (PC) (1) | Real Estate (1) | Real Estate Buyout (1) | Buyout Options (1) | Partial Buyout (1) | Buyout (1) | Inflation (1) | Children Of Divorce (1) | Interest Rates (1) | Selling The Marital Home (1) | Divorce Terms (1) | Self Compassion (1) | Self Reflection (1) | Meditation (1) | Fairness (1) | Separate Asset (1) | Marital Asset (1) | Consulting (1) | Parenting Agreement (1) | File A Petition (1) | Final Decisions (1) | Legal Rights (1) | Perspective (1) | Alternative Dispute Resolution (1) | ADR (1) | Presumptive ADR Program (1) | New York Family Court (1) | Family Court Presumptive ADR Program (1) | Parenting Styles (1) | Coparenting (1) | Opposites (1) | Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) (1) | Personality (1) | Separate Property Credit (1) | Advocacy (1) | Empowerment (1) | DecisionMaking (1) | CoParenting (1) | Family Occasions (1) | Honest Conversation (1) | Pension (1) | Actuarial Company (1) | Parent Coordinator (1) | Ideas (1) | Contentment (1) | Happiness (1) | AcceptableOutcome (1) | Mediation Process (1) | Matrimonial Practice (1) | Kindness (1) | Righteous Anger (1) | Disagreements (1) | Beliefs (1) | Income Level (1) | Saving Grace By Kirsten Powers (1) | Kirsten Powers (1) | Court (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Pro-Rata (1) | Support Add-ons (1) | Bonuses (1) | Commissions (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Lawyer (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Extremes (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Disclosure (1) | Moving On (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Payments (1) | Fall (1) | Nesting (1) | Conflicy (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Power (1) | School Year (1) | Kids (1) | Summer (1) | Marriage (1) | Resolution (1) | College (1) | Compassion (1) | Abundance (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Joint Account (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Transmutation (1) | Commingling (1) | Married Couples (1) | Scarcity (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Relocation (1) | Specialist (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | House (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Halloween (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Change (1) | Self-determination (1) | Grandparents (1) | Self-talk (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | New York (1) | Advice (1) | Self Determination (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Equality (1) | Balance (1) | Control (1) | New York State (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Life Insurance (1) | COVID19 (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Negotiation (1) | Entitlement (1) | Court Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Financial Information (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | Fear Of Separation (1) | PostNup (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Time To Process (1) | Patience (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Seller (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Court Order (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Meditate (1) | Property Distribution (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Apologizing (1) | But (1) | Fiancé (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Buyer (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Affair (1) | Dishonest (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Lies (1) | Public Trust (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Married (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Work Stress (1) | Wife (1) | Husband (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Spouses (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Refinance (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Perfection (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | MediationSession (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | Credit Against Child Support (1) |
Connect
Close Announcement

Online Mediation Available

In response to COVID-19 I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.