914.946.0848  .  contact  .  map & directions  .  subscribe  . 

Co-Parenting During COVID-19

April 21, 2020  | 
Closeup of father and son at home

{4 minutes to read} As I’m writing this on March 30, 2020, the Courts in New York State are open only for emergency relief, such as family offenses/orders of protection and child protective matters. Parents who are having non-emergency custody disputes are unable to access courts at this time to resolve their dispute.

In an article in the New York Law Journal, Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, the Statewide Coordinating Judge for Matrimonial Cases, was praised on two diverse listservs to which I belong, for his uniquely helpful approach.

Judge Sunshine presented the perspective of a judge’s thought process in hearing such a dispute, as a guide for advice attorneys could provide to clients, and the actions that clients should follow. In considering one of the factors that determine custody, namely, which parent is likely to provide access to the other, Judge Sunshine looks to the parties’ present behavior as an indication of how they will act in the future.

A parent may disobey a court order and refuse access to the child, knowing that the other parent is unable to go to court immediately to seek relief. This could result in a short-term “win,” but such behavior could have a major negative impact on the ultimate decision for that parent.

On an even more fundamental level, though, Judge Sunshine notes that how parents relate to each other in these times “will shape their relationship with each other as divorced parents in the future, the relationship they have with their children and most importantly the relationship that their children have with them.”

While modeling appropriate behavior has always been a vital role of a parent, it cannot be overstated how crucial that is now. What do you want your children to remember?

  • Their parents working together to find a way to keep them in touch with both parents, when they so deeply needed both of them in their lives; or  
  • One parent trying to manipulate the crisis to gain an advantage over the other parent?

Of course, there can be genuine safety reasons why a parent might not think it’s in the children’s best interests to visit the other parent. In that case, both parents can accept a temporary halt to in-person visits and have virtual visits to preserve the continuity of the relationship.

The daily toll this pandemic takes on all of us is enormous. That stress is even greater for those who are struggling to maintain co-parenting with someone with whom they barely agree on anything. If you are trying to be reasonable but have a co-parent who refuses to do the same, then you should contact your attorney and see if there is anything that can be done. But if you both can understand that working together now will significantly impact your children’s future in a much more positive way, it could lead to a much better outcome.

Please take a look at these PRACTICAL TIPS published by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts that parents sharing custody can follow. See if they can help you navigate through this time.

If you are both willing, you can also research parenting coordinators, co-parenting coaches, and mental health professionals in your area, who can help you to address your immediate concerns.

As always, but never more profoundly than now, please consider mediating your dispute if no other options have helped. Most mediators are providing mediation services online and remain committed to helping you reach a child-centered resolution.

Stay well. 

Clare Piro Attorney and Mediator

Attorney & Mediator
500 Mamaroneck Avenue | Suite 320
Harrison, NY 10528
Tel: 914.946.0848

Email »

Comments
Search
Topics
Mediation (75) | Divorce (72) | Divorce Mediation (20) | Mediator (13) | Conflict (9) | Litigation (8) | Child Support (8) | Separation Agreement (7) | Collaborative Divorce (6) | Clare A. Piro (6) | Clare A. Piro Mediation (6) | Consultation (6) | Communication (5) | Separation (5) | Finances (4) | Settlement (4) | Parenting (4) | Children (4) | Family (4) | Attorney (4) | Parenting Plan (4) | Clients (3) | Clare Piro (3) | Mediation Myths (3) | Equitable Distribution (3) | Divorce Finances (3) | Divorce And Children (3) | Marital Assets (3) | Child Support Standards Act (3) | Expenses (3) | Divorce Mediator (3) | Co-Parenting (3) | Compromise (2) | Truth (2) | Seperation (2) | Legislation (2) | Custody (2) | Pandemic (2) | Listening (2) | Financial Professional (2) | Budgets (2) | Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) (2) | Spouse (2) | Marital Home (2) | Mediate (2) | Separate Property (2) | Marital Property (2) | Agreement (2) | Informed Decisions (2) | Apology (2) | College Expenses (2) | Moving Forward (2) | Assets (2) | Relationships (2) | Equal Parenting Plan (2) | Couples (2) | Step-Children (2) | Step-Mother (2) | Unrequited Love (2) | Settlement Agreements (2) | CSSA (2) | Post-Divorce Income (2) | Mediation Benefits (2) | Calculating Support (2) | Mediation Versus Litigation (2) | Conflict During Mediation (2) | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) (2) | Step-Father (2) | Bitterness (2) | Anger (2) | Collaborative Practice (2) | Fear Of Separation (1) | Court Vs Mediation (1) | PostNup (1) | Child's Best Interests (1) | Child Support Payment (1) | NYs Child Support Guidelines (CSSA) (1) | Emotions (1) | Lawyer (1) | Post Nuptial (1) | Negotiation (1) | Court Process (1) | Time To Process (1) | Financial Documents (1) | Custody Determination (1) | Financial Information (1) | Entitlement (1) | Mental Health Professional (1) | Family Law Software (1) | Needs Vs Wants (1) | Patience (1) | Attitudes (1) | Significant Other (1) | Family Enrichment (1) | Remarriage After Divorce (1) | Accepting Responsibility (1) | Taking Responsibility (1) | Blended Families (1) | Domestic Violence (1) | LawyerDivorceMediation (1) | Matrimonial Dispute (1) | MediationSession (1) | FamilyMediation (1) | AttorneyPresence (1) | Ex-Spouse (1) | Primary Caretaker (1) | Seller (1) | Buyer (1) | Telling Your Spouse (1) | Reluctant Spouse (1) | Marriage Counseling (1) | Frame Of Mind (1) | Cash Flow (1) | Interest Payments (1) | Emotional Attachment (1) | Dividing House Asset (1) | Divorce Assets (1) | Refinance (1) | Equity Loan (1) | Prenup (1) | Attitudes Toward Prenups (1) | Heard (1) | Unhappy Relationship (1) | Co-parenting (1) | Understood (1) | Couples Counseling (1) | Children And Divorce (1) | Lack Of Communication (1) | COVID19 (1) | Court Order (1) | Global Pandemic (1) | Maggie O’Connor (1) | Remain Healthy (1) | Power Of Regret (1) | Guilt (1) | Caucus (1) | 50/50 Parenting (1) | Mediating Onine (1) | Agreement To Mediate (1) | Mediating Virtually (1) | Religious Holidays (1) | Cultural Holidays (1) | Divorce Agreement (1) | Separating (1) | Holiday Season (1) | Parenting Schedules (1) | Parental Holiday Sharing (1) | Matrimonial Cases (1) | Custody Disputes (1) | Fiancé (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) (1) | 50/50 Parenting Plan (1) | But (1) | Apologizing (1) | Collaborative Process (1) | An Advocate (1) | Marital Concerns (1) | Non-Residential Parent (1) | Asset Distribution (1) | A Neutral (1) | Technical Difficulties (1) | Transition Day (1) | Equitable Distribution Statute (1) | Complicated Finances (1) | Mediation Misconceptions (1) | Perfection (1) | FinancialPortfolio (1) | Multiple Assets (1) | Social Distancing (1) | Maintaining Calm (1) | Property Distribution (1) | On-Duty Parent Responsibilities (1) | Meditate (1) | Coronavirus (1) | Prenuptial Agreement (1) | Financial Costs (1) | Adopt Shelter Dogs (1) | Dogs (1) | Older Dogs (1) | Effects On Family (1) | Living Apart (1) | Living Together (1) | Agreements (1) | Budget (1) | Blame (1) | 2015 (1) | Advice (1) | Self-talk (1) | New York (1) | Baby Boomers (1) | Grandparents (1) | Power (1) | School Year (1) | Acknowledgement (1) | Conflicy (1) | Fall (1) | Kids (1) | Summer (1) | Abundance (1) | Divorce Law (1) | Scarcity (1) | Resolution (1) | Marriage (1) | Year In Review (1) | Mindfulness (1) | Holidays Post-Divorce (1) | Holiday Blues (1) | Alone At The Holidays (1) | Consulting Attorney (1) | Post-Divorce Dating (1) | Scared Of Divorce (1) | Fear Of Divorce (1) | Parenting Post-Divorce (1) | Parenting Plans (1) | Joint Physical Custody (1) | Moving On After Divorce (1) | Halloween (1) | Finding Love After Divorce (1) | House (1) | New York State (1) | Self Determination (1) | Control (1) | Balance (1) | Equality (1) | Self-determination (1) | Difficult Clients (1) | Mental Health (1) | Equity (1) | Specialist (1) | Relocation (1) | Change (1) | Extremes (1) | Payments (1) | Intervention (1) | Dreaming (1) | Custodial Parent (1) | Financial Situation (1) | Husband (1) | Therapy (1) | Beneficiary (1) | Divorce Coach (1) | Settle Agreement (1) | Settlement Term (1) | Life Insurance (1) | Spousal Support (1) | Wife (1) | Bankruptcy (1) | Spouses (1) | Dishonest (1) | Separation Agreements (1) | Anxiety (1) | Work Stress (1) | Little White Lies (1) | Lies (1) | Married (1) | Affair (1) | Settlement Agreement (1) | Personal Relationships (1) | Public Trust (1) | Joint Account (1) | Lack Of Trust (1) | Nesting (1) | College (1) | Compassion (1) | Hurricane Harvey (1) | Married Couples (1) | Contribution (1) | Parents (1) | Unemployment (1) | Seperation Agreement (1) | Responsibility (1) | Moving On (1) | Disclosure (1) | Commingling (1) | Transmutation (1) | Temporary Agreement (1) | Installment Agreements (1) | Permanent Agreement (1) | Tentative Agreements (1) | Accusations Of Delay (1) | Joint Legal Custody (1) | Joint Decision Making (1) | Maritial Assets (1) | Maritial Property (1) | Retirement Account (1) | Divorce Papers (1) | Negative Communication (1) | Holiday Preparations (1) |
Connect

Online Mediation Available

In response to COVID-19 I am providing family and divorce mediation services online. Click to learn more.