Topic: But | 175 post(s).
November 18, 2021 - Couples with opposite personality traits may thrive as one’s style is countered by the opposite style. When they divorce, the characteristics that attracted them to one another can now seem annoying and negative. Discussing between yourselves can lead to fights, but mediation can allow you to frame your differences in more positive ways. [...]
August 26, 2021 - If your spouse has some financial or legal knowledge that you don't, you may feel at a disadvantage in mediation. But you don’t have to give up all of the benefits of mediation just because of your spouse’s profession. The answer is to seek professionals who can help you to become empowered and feel comfortable in mediation, so you can properly advocate for yourself, and make the best decisions you can. [...]
July 16, 2021 - Strong emotions can arise when you are talking about distributing a pension. By explaining why each of you feels entitled to the pension, you can open the door to a productive discussion and start talking about options in a way that recognizes what you both need and what your expectations are. Through that discussion, you may be able to reach a settlement that's going to meet those needs and expectations. [...]
June 30, 2021 - To the extent that your pension was accumulated during the marriage, it would be treated like any other assets subject to distribution. But there may need to be more to the discussion than just what the law provides. [...]
June 9, 2021 - Since I recorded this video two weeks ago and now at posting, NY is opening up! Despite this great news towards normalcy, I think many people are still feeling unsettled. In his article in the New York Times, Adam Grant describes these feelings as “languishing.” You aren’t clinically depressed but you are still not thriving. It’s hard to focus and you just don't feel like working. Sound familiar? [...]
May 18, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} The idea of a prenuptial agreement is familiar to most people — an agreement that a couple can enter into before their marriage that can provide how property and debt will be distributed in the event of death or a divorce. It can also provide for paying or waiving spousal support. But what exactly is a postnuptial agreement, and why would anyone want one? A postnuptial agreement is an agreement that a married couple can create to do the very th [...]
April 30, 2021 - {4 minutes to read} I often receive phone calls from potential clients telling me that they have settled everything and just want me to write up their agreement. When faced with this request, I explain that this is not what I do and why mediation would still be important even if they have discussed and agreed upon terms. Terms that were Not Addressed Even if there are no minor children, it’s difficult to navigate through all of the terms that need to be con [...]
April 7, 2021 - {3 minutes to read} I understand that there are some mediators in favor of mediation via email. Those that I have encountered are conducting commercial or other multi-party mediations. The positive aspects include: easier scheduling; parties from other states, or even countries, can participate without travel or time zone constraints; parties can take time to draft an appropriate and more reasoned response; and parties can easily find information from prior & [...]
March 24, 2021 - My previous two videos on Child Inclusive Mediation discussed the child interview and the parent meeting. In this video, we look at the parenting plan that can be created as a result of the issues and concerns raised by the child consultant’s interview of the children. This plan is not a legal document, but an agreement between the parents in their own language which they can start to use immediately. [...]
February 19, 2021 - In this video, we discuss the step when the child consultant comes into the mediation and speaks to the parents about their interview with the child. Parents don't have to be afraid that they are going to be judged in the meeting, or that anybody is going to be accusing them of being bad parents because they are having a conflict with their co-parent. The mediator and the child consultant will work together to make sure that the parents feel comfortable in the [...]
December 3, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} The other day a friend told me about a conflict she was having with another person and how that person behaved towards her. While the other person’s actions were pretty awful, there was something in the back story she described that made me think there was a misunderstanding and possibly an incorrect assumption of the other person’s motives. To my friend, the other person was acting spitefully and just being mean spirited. I gingerly brou [...]
November 11, 2020 - {4 minutes to read} I recently attended a virtual lecture presented by Maryellen Dance, LMHC from Rochester, NY, focusing on fact versus fiction in terms of anxiety. She had some very interesting suggestions to deal with anxiety that may be helpful, especially when you’re in a particularly anxious time of your life like separating from your spouse. Your fears of the future, or focus on the past, can hinder your progress in a mediation if they hijack your ability t [...]